I have been sitting day and night at her bedside. I did have a hospice organization involved for the last two months. They were wonderful to my mom and were great with me. My dad who is 91 refused to sit with her while she died. I was with her as she took her last breath. He was watching the stock report. I know I have to continue to take care of him but I am so angry with him. During her funeral, he continually talked about how much we had to do to get the money that was owed to him from insurance, etc. I want to walk away and let he and has money have a wonderful life. My mother was a wonderful person and was my buffer with my dad. I am thinking about selling my home and business and walking away. I can't imagine that his wife of 70 years means so little to him. The night before she died, I had to spend hours finding 1099's that he had misplaced for his account. I finally lost it and forced him to file an extension. He has quarreled at me every day about the extension. I really need to have him evaluated but I just don't have the energy.
I haven't had time to grieve for my mom, I am too busy with my business and my dad who has decided that people are trying to steal his money. The last six years have been a hard journey. I lost my mom 2 1/2 ago years to dementia and I lost her again two weeks ago. I want to do the right thing for my dad but he is like a vampire - he sucks the life out of everyone around him. I am not sure that I can spend the next years of my life taking care of a person that I no longer respect. I am afraid that he will suck the life out of me. I want to honor my mother by taking care of the person she loved for 70 years. I don't think I can do it.
You aren't alone in feeling the way you do. I have a parental situation similar to yours - except Dad has the dementia and he is also like a life-sucking vampire (MANY years before he was officially diagnosed). Mom is the buffer, and they both live in an assisted living community close to my younger sister. My sis and I work well together to watch over our parents because we have DPOA and take are of all their finances and bills. Dad's dementia is progressing rapidly and it won't be long (I give him 6 months or less) and we'll be putting Plan B into place. It will NOT be pleasant as Dad has become combative and physically aggressive (he's attacked my sister twice). Eventually he will need to be separated from Mom (for her own safety), but we have to do what's best for everyone and personal safety is paramount.
I understand that you want to take care of your Dad, but do you have any siblings or anyone who can help you in this matter. Please don't walk away from your business and home. Find out what resources are available in your area - and consider an assisted living community where he would be helped that is close by so you can visit him. Seek legal counseling as well to see if you can take over your Dad's affairs legally if he has diminished mental capacity. You won't regret it. All the best.