Never relied on her other children. Now they aren't there. I am the oldest of four. Sister has passed leaving two brothers. It dawned on me this is why neither boys feel obligated because Mom never expected anything from them or my sister. I was always the one that did without question. I stayed in the same town. I worked, married had my girls and continued to work but when my parents needed something, I did it. Both brothers called Christmas but that was the first time in months. No one visited Christmas Eve or Day. My parents never had to care for a parent. Moms were gone and Dads Mom was in a nursing home. So we never were involved with caring for an elderly person. So, oldest daughter living near by gets the responsibility which I'm not equipped for. Yes, TG I have an RN in the family. But, there will come a day that I will have to place Mom into nursing care. Praying I don't have to make that decision.
My parents answered "of course not".
Well, that person would have been me.
That was an eye opener for my parents. So they never considered having me do hands-on care for them, it was more logistical, thus doctor appointments, groceries, shopping. Mom since passed due to a fall at home, and Dad was more than happy to hire Caregivers from an Agency. Glad my parents saved for those rainy days :)