Lately mom is more concerned about her nieces who one she never met and will never met and one who does not give a sh*t. Mom is on Facebook and talks to one niece who is my step cousin not related to her. What gets me she thinks there are going to magically show up they have it done a thing or even called her since she's been sick she has posted numberous times about being in the hospital. My mom needs to get this out of her head they don't care or give a sh*t. This niece lives in Chicago I don't think she really knows who my mom is they have it done one dang thing to help. I do everything my self while dad is at work it bugs me the way she talks about her niece I don't care I'm not related to her. The fact is that my mom side does live in the same city they don't live that far away does it call or help I know no one is perfect it would be nice for them to call or just to see how she is doing she gets bummed out some times. The fact she focuses on her nieces not on me they don't do sh*t. Sorry I don't no where to put this topic at. Like I said you don't see your nieces here do you I'm the only one till dad gets home thinking they are going to show up and they never do
You sound exactly as I did when I was overwhelmed. I hated when my mom would feel sorry for my brothers who did nothing to help.
Is it possible to take a break? Can you give us a few more details please so we can have a clearer picture.
Have you contacted Council on Aging for help? If she qualifies you can get someone to help prepare meals, bathe her, tidy up, sit with her a few hours so you can take a much needed break.
Is your dad a vet who served during war time so mom can apply for aid and assistance? Are you the primary caregiver while your dad is at work?
Best wishes to you and your family. Hugs!
Take care of yourself. Get some help with the caregiving. Check with her insurance—Medicare if she has it and call her doctor for an order for in-home care. Or, tell Mom you’re taking some time off and you will ask those cousins to come care for her. When they refuse and don’t show up, maybe she’ll get the point.
mom does since this is your second post about one of your moms nieces.....
I bet you miss your friends and want to do fun things. You are most likely resentful of having to spend so much time with your mom. I can understand that.
I was 50 when my mom moved in with us. I took care of my mom, dad and brother for years before mom moved in. It’s exhausting!
I know how it feels to miss out on a lot of things. I feel for you.
I don’t even think this is about your cousins. They are just working on your nerves because of the larger picture which is you want your life back, which is understandable.
You know what? It’s too much togetherness for you and your mom. My mom and I had too much togetherness too. I got tired of it and I am sure she did too. I bet your mom is lonely and having contact with her nieces fills a void for her. It gives her something different to read about. It’s her way of staying in contact with family even if it’s not a real life visit.
How long have you been caregiving?
She DIDN'T really want to see him or talk to him, she just likes to play the 'loving sister' which she may or may not be, I don't know. She hasn't seen him in over 10 years and they haven't spoken in almost that long.
I have come to understand that she doesn't WANT but a couple of close relationships, and those are not with close family. It is what it is, weird, but it's the way she is. I just finished a 6 month battle with cancer and she didn't call me once. To say that hurt is quite the understatement.
I have no idea if that was directed at me personally, but it sure felt like it.
Her friend gets a skin tag removed and mom acts like she's undergoing major surgery. I've long since quit trying to understand her.