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He is a realist, and knows that my mother rarely listens to him. Although respectful and concerned, he does tell her like it is. How do I listen to her criticism of him (he's "rude," "a jackass", etc.) and respond to it? She wants to blame him for her problems, all of which stem from bad judgement on her part.

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At least your mother will go to a doctor. My 90 year old will not. She will religiously get her teeth cleaned but refuses to get her ears cleaned. Stopped going to her ophtamologist when he told her she shouldn't be driving (macular degeneration and cataracts). Will not go to a GP. I don't know what else to do. She is showing signs of dementia but has also limited what she eats. I think a lot of her problems are related to that.,
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Pattianne~My mother would not take any medicine the dr.s prescribe ever since the pharmacy had to include a list of side effects. She claims she gets everyone list. Of course old medicine like penicillin, she claims doesn't have side effects nor does OTC medicine. I would ask her why I break out in an itchy rash every time I would take penicillin, or why does aspirin irritate the stomach? To her way of thinking, it is only the newer medicines that cause side effects. Her cardiologist told her it was all in her head, Lol!! Btw, I agree!! With my mother, it is every dr. she does not trust them and will believe what the lady down the street tells her over what the dr. tells her. Hang in there, get a pair of ear plugs if necessary, Lol!!
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I'm like you; I like my doctor, but also do my own homework. My mother tends to be cranky about everything, and I think you're right about pushing my buttons for attention, and to stay the victim. I do wish she would get another doctor, and told her that today.
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I can understand this is frustrating to you. You obviously like the doctor and just out of consideration for you, mom could hold her harsh words in front of you. I would call her on it and tell her either get another doctor or hush.
Ok, on the other side. Maybe your mom really doesn't like this doctor, unless she has the same attitude about all doctors. On a whole, I have never met a doctor I liked. Some are more tolerable than others, but the ones I've seen are arrogant, condescending, never take genetics into consideration, push medication as a cure all, rude and yes, jackasses. The one I'm seeing now is in the tolerable category, but I let her know up front, I'm a free thinker and I research ALL medications before I will take them.
If your mom is overall cranky, then ignore it. She has the right to her opinion, but it kinda sounds like she is pushing your buttons to get a reaction.
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Thank you - that is exactly what I needed to hear!:)
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My mother is the same way. Her/my dr. is very personable so he can talk with her but she doesn't always follow what he advises. He knows it because I have talked with him when I go in for myself. Mom has Alz so he is willing to talk to me about her health. Just tell your mom you like him and if she doesn't, then let her change dr.'s. Leave when she starts complaining, set boundaries around the topic, change the subject or just tell her you don't want to hear it. Good luck!!
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