My grandmother is 102 yrs old and lives with 1 of her (8) daughters and 2 adult grandchildren. She has expressed, well before she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, that she wants to be in HER home when the good Lord calls her home!!! She has this one daughter that is a piece of work and my grandma does not want to be in her home. About 1 month ago, she beat a stroke, a week ago, she was hospitalized and is now in Hospice care. The daughter that she lives with is not that well either, however, her daughter and another grandchild/nephew lives there as well. She was discharged today (9/17/2016), and went to the daughters home that she has strongly expressed that she did not want to go to. Now she is despondent and sad. This daughter/aunt, out of the 5 daughters living, is physically able to care for her, however as I stated, my grandma has expressed that she does not want to go there. My question, is it right to take an elderly person, at her age away from her comfort? There will doctors and nurses coming to see her, not to mention, several of her grandchildren, myself included is committed to going to her home, where she wants to be,and assist where needed! Is this right or not? Please give me feed back.
Also, the aunt/daughter that she lives with has been her right hand for years. Is this sibling rivalry at it's worst?
Even if Grandmother went back home, people coming to visit isn't the same as being there 24 hours per day, 7 days a week. There is so much one has to do behind the scenes that would surprise everyone. Hospice won't be there every day, and when they do come it's for a half hour or hour at the most.
Caring for a person with Alzheimer's is very exhausting even for the youngest healthiest person,.... please note that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were caring. Your Grandmother's daughter who was her caregiver probably crashed and burned from all the stress and exhaustion. There were times I thought my parents [who were in their 90's] would outlive me.
In the end of my Mom's last days, at the advice of our Hospice Nurse, it was recommended that our Mom be moved to the Hospice Hospital, as she was actively dying, and in the end, my Sister decided that she prefer our Mom Not die in her home. Many reasons went into this decision, but it was collectively decided that moving her was for the best. One main reason, was that my sister had small Grandchildren at the timewho frequently were in her home, and she didn't want them adversely affected, and scared by the dying process, plus it's absolutely physically and mentally exhausting, even with loads of help.
Our Mom died 8 days later, most of those last days, she was unconscious. But the Hospice Hospital facility was incredible, not only in caring for our Mom, but supportive of all ove us, who were there with her in shifts, around the clock.
This is wgere yourfamilyis going to need you the most, please do everything in your power tobe supportive, even if its running errands, shopping, cleaning, and preparing food for the caregivers and visitors. Refreshments and the managing of them, is a busy job in itself. And accept every offer of food items, cooked meals, everything, as people do genuinely want to help!
Take care and God bless!