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Where do you care for your Mom? In her home or in your home? Who has DPOA for finances for your Mom? Who has POA for Healthcare for your Mom? In what way will you be "financially responsible for her"? Guestshopadmin brings up a good point about Medicaid sees gifting to family members for a "look-back" period of 5 YEARS from the DATE OF APPLICATION. If there is a paper trail of money being giving to family members, then Medicaid can deny paying for your Mom's care until the amount of money "gifted" has been "returned" to your Mom or to Medicaid or the facility.
My cousins managed to sweet talk our grandmother and her brother in giving them $100,000+ over a 10 year period. Once my father retired and started spending several days a week out on the family farm with grandma, then grandma decreased the amount she was giving my cousins. Unfortunately, my cousins then concentrated on grandma's 90 year old brother who gave them money, used cars, houses or mobile homes to live in, etc.
It might help to visit a Elder Law attorney and see what they suggest, especially if you "will likely end up financially responsible for her".
I’ve been down this road myself. A brother, his wife and children took thousands of dollars from mother. Children stole my identity and ran up thousands in credit card and loans. Your mother will have realize what they are doing. My brother had POA. I went to court and gave the info and got POA myself. My Mom finally realized what he had done when she had to give up some luxuries she wanted. I hope you can find a way to make hr realize what is going on.
You might try explaining to your mother that if she needs a higher level of assisted living or nursing home care that she wants to have subsidized by Medicaid: Mom won't be eligible for it if Medicaid sees gifting to family members for a "look-back" period of 5 YEARS from the DATE OF APPLICATION. That information can be an eye opener.
I'm sorry to hear this--and it happens all the time.
Are you close to mom and can have a real heart to heart with her and explain that she is not an ATM for her kids? However, if she competent, she can do as she pleases with her money. Sadly, my mom went through this with my oldest brother and he ended up stealing over $200K in money, coin collections, silverware, pretty much everything of value. Mom and dad were nearly destitute when another brother took them in and forbade the "thief" access to my folks. Mom still gave him money monthly, but she was limited. Seriously, in their old age (dad passed 13 years ago) they were as poor as when they were newlyweds. W/O family, they would have been indigent.
This kind of thing happens over and over. I don't know how you can stop them from bleeding her out if she won't stand up to them.
You could consult a lawyer and see what your rights are, but again, if she's competent, there isn't a whole lot you can do.
Others will have better answers. I know that through my brother's actions, our family became very fractured. Sad, mother loved her Golden Boy so much, and he took advantage of that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My cousins managed to sweet talk our grandmother and her brother in giving them $100,000+ over a 10 year period. Once my father retired and started spending several days a week out on the family farm with grandma, then grandma decreased the amount she was giving my cousins. Unfortunately, my cousins then concentrated on grandma's 90 year old brother who gave them money, used cars, houses or mobile homes to live in, etc.
It might help to visit a Elder Law attorney and see what they suggest, especially if you "will likely end up financially responsible for her".
(I hope "my financial responsibility" doesn't mean you will have to move her in with you...)
Are you close to mom and can have a real heart to heart with her and explain that she is not an ATM for her kids?
However, if she competent, she can do as she pleases with her money. Sadly, my mom went through this with my oldest brother and he ended up stealing over $200K in money, coin collections, silverware, pretty much everything of value. Mom and dad were nearly destitute when another brother took them in and forbade the "thief" access to my folks. Mom still gave him money monthly, but she was limited. Seriously, in their old age (dad passed 13 years ago) they were as poor as when they were newlyweds. W/O family, they would have been indigent.
This kind of thing happens over and over. I don't know how you can stop them from bleeding her out if she won't stand up to them.
You could consult a lawyer and see what your rights are, but again, if she's competent, there isn't a whole lot you can do.
Others will have better answers. I know that through my brother's actions, our family became very fractured. Sad, mother loved her Golden Boy so much, and he took advantage of that.
"Anybodyout there?" Yep, lots and lots of us.