The last several days I have been dreaming about what will I do when these caregiving days are over? I completed a Master's degree two years ago and ended up as caregiver to my mom. So, I miss the working days, the intellectual stimulation that used my background to resolve problems.
What are your hopes and dreams that you want to achieve when this chapter of your life is over?
I live a great life and I'm not burdened with everyday care responsibilities, but I still suffer from the guilt sometimes and worry and waiting for the other shoe to drop, so "dream" of the days when that will be over.
i got a natural stone jones, a natural stone jones,
i got a natural stone jones oh baby, ooo-oo,ooo..
Am looking forward to seeing what others dreams are.... beside napping.... we all want to take naps....
Right now, after that whole decade, I'm just wanting to rest. And sleep. And be alone. I have no desire at all to be around other people in the slightest. I need and crave complete solitude. And quiet.
I feel a lot of stress and fear thinking of the future. I used to have a great job that involved being around the public all day....I can't even imagine doing that. I remember my boss saying to come back if my circumstances changed. They have, but I can't imagine going back to that chaos of a job just yet, much as I loved it. I feel like some kind of alien species in a world I know nothing about anymore.
For now, I take great pleasure in the small things in life. JB, I hear you. I so enjoy getting up and having coffee, knowing I can actually finish a cup without having to jump up again. I know when I go to bed at night now I can actually SLEEP...but weirdly, I'm still on 'mom hours'....If I sleep 5 hours in a stretch I'm doing really good. It's been a long, long time since I've actually slept 8 hours in a stretch.
I am enjoying having this house to myself. I've decluttered it for the most part. Still a ways to go though... I'm slowing turning it into my house rather than seeing it as solely my mom's house... I'm actually really enjoying that, even though it might sound awful... My mom and dad had this old plaid couch for over 30 years...Ugly as hell, but very well constructed and in prime condition after so many years. A bomb wouldn't harm that thing. lol I ordered a couch cover from Amazon in a lovely chocolate color, threw a soft, thick cream colored faux fur microfiber blanket over it, tossed on some cool pillows and viola! New couch! I'm really enjoying the re decorating. Finally, this house says me, too....not just MOM, if you know what I mean. My mom was always very possessive of everything she owned and wouldn't allow me to do anything at all here, even in my own room. Everything had to be what she liked and what she liked and thought looked good, I hated. lol I have more plans to fix this house up. It needs some much needed updating, and I am looking forward to that.
Sooner or later I'll have to get back out in the real world. For now, I'm holing up. I need it. I need to simply live in my cave and recover. It took over 10 years to get me here. It might be awhile before I dig my way out.
I do look forward to my naps. I thank God I can sleep whenever I feel the need. Such simple things, but so important.