We have had so many close calls. So many times we admitted my mother to the hospital each time thinking it was final. Each time I prepared myself mentally...took on the role of doctor ...even found myself directly caring for my mother at the hospital.
Each time she survived.
Until today.
I wasn't prepared for it today. I awoke. We went to check on her...and there she was...completely motionless and cold ...she must have passed away overnight in her sleep.
My mom has been gone just 2 months now. I'm still in the "I can't believe this happened' stage, but am slowly working through the stages. Not looking forward to the holidays, but life goes on and it's not fair to my family (who were not close to mother at all) for me to be down.
ANd if you have already lost your father--suddenly, you're an orphan ( doesn't matter how old you are!) and that is a weird shift in dynamic.
I'm sorry for your loss. Take care of you, OK?
She's at peace.
((((((((Hugs)))))))
I remember when I started feeling overwhelmed by Mom's daily care needs and I found this website.
I've dedicated so much of my energy to caring for my Mom....its suddenly over ...and I'm scared.
I changed the dressing around her gastrostomy tube. Cleaned it sterile and dressed it.
I brushed her teeth as best as I could. Then left her on her bed.....I can still see it clearly in my head.
Sigh....
God bless her.
This will definitely be a big adjustment for you, give yourself time - wishing you comfort and peace.
This is shaping up to be almost as expensive as my wedding. And I only got married earlier this year.
I am in no mean trying to make light of your grieving, I just wanted to relate a story about my mom's funeral, as you mentioned how very VERY expensive they are.
To say my mom was "frugal" is to say something like "Atilla the Hun had some anger issues". After she had passed and we went to the funeral home to make the arrangements, the Director was going over a list of the charges with me and my sister. Mom's final "hairdo" was going to run almost $200.
My sister and I both burst out laughing. My sister explained to the Director that we both doubted my mom spent $200 on her hair over the course of a 5 year period and would never have paid that price while she was alive! We decided it would be ok to fork over the money "just this one time", so mom would look fabulous.
At mom's wake, when my sister and I were at mom's casket, she leaned over to me and whispered "but doesn't her hair look AWESOME?"
My prayers are with you. (((hugs)))
Praise The Lord that she went in her sleep ..
May you all receive grieving mercies and strength for this new season of life.
To the other user. I hope you get to keep your Mom out of hospice too. Despite my many vents on here...I actually feel kind of proud that I was able to doctor/nurse my own mother in-house until she died. Protecting her from the risks of bedsores and nosocomial infections which are easy to catch when you have a frail bedridden patient in hospice. I respect the work of hospice workers but I also know the limit of individualized patient care in a group setting. The one doctor working on the hospice ward would have never been able to give my Mom the kind of daily individualized care that I was giving her on.
Anyways back onto my gripe on finances.
Is ridiculous. Its hundreds of bucks just to run a funeral announcement and dad wants to stream the thing on social media for "those who can't make it"
I've got half a mind to tell Dad to make them pay for it to be streamed if they want to see it so badly.
When I was getting married we wasted a whole bunch of money printing expensive invitations for "so-called rich family friends" who didn't show-up to the wedding, nor did they give a single wedding gift. The poor and the middle class family and friends all contributed to our wedding...and all the richest peope didn't come/contribute. I'm not falling for that again.