This is more of a need to vent, not even about caregiving, than it is a question.
I am having a minor outpatient procedure tomorrow. My husband is out of town, so he can't take me. My daughter is in college, taking a summer session plus works full time. Missing a day of summer session is missing a lot of work, so she can't take me. My son started a new job today, so he can't take me. My son's live in girlfriend and mother of his child, says she can't take me. She has a cousin visiting right now, that could watch the kids for half a day. My brothers day off isn't until Thursday and Friday. Anyway, mom brother told me to have mom take me. My mom has no business driving. She still has her license, and her car is registered in my brothers name, so there isn't anything I can do about the fact that she is driving. Anyway, I'm not having her drive me. The hospital is about thirty minutes away. I don't want to ride in the car with her, and I don't want to be the one she is driving somewhere when she finally has that accident hurting herself or someone else. So, I hired an errand service to drive me to the hospital, sit with me, then drive me home. My husband and I seldom ask for help from anyone, we help people if they ask us. I never actually expect help from people, but it would be nice if someone would help. I wouldn't have asked, if it had not been absolutely necessary. Back to my son. He started this new job yesterday, so he will be going a month without a pay check. We told him that we would help out with gas and groceries. He would have gas to get to work, and no one would go hungry. I am just angry that his girlfriend can't make the time to take me to the hospital.
If it's any consolation, I doubt you're alone. I'm in that position as well, but not from lack of availability or desire by family; we're just the last ones left.
What I've discovered is that I can drive to an area within 10 miles of the hospital, take a small bus for $1.00 a ride to the hospital, and take it on the return trip back to where I parked my car. Then I don't have to worry about hospital staff's concern that I'm driving after a procedure.
It's not the best option, but it's the best option available under the circumstances.
I wouldn't fret over it - you need to focus on recovering from your procedure. Just remember it the next time your son's GF wants a favor from you!
grins
That said, have you spoken in-depth to your son about this? I noticed you mentioned that since HE has a new job, he won't be getting a paycheck for approx. a month, but YOU "would help out with gas and groceries. He would have gas to get to work, and no one (meaning him, his selfish girlfriend and their child) would go hungry." Well, isn't that nice of you. I would "lean on" your son to press his girlfriend into service to their benefactor (YOU). I'm assuming they don't live with you and she has her cousin visiting them and staying at their place. If that's the case, impress upon your son that the cousin can stay with their child while girlfriend takes you to a 1/2 procedure. Geez, Louise!!! Can't they both be that clueless as to helping??? Sometimes tough love is the answer.
We were benefitted by calling the senior center for driver referrals. One stood out among the rest, a really great person and a good driver.
Soon, if not yet, there will be insurance coverage for rides home from the hospital.
Try billing Medicare anyway to see what they do. At the very least, it will set a precedent.
In the big group, we do book clubs, volunteer events, dining out, game nights, sports stuff like pickleball, etc. We do game nights, dining out and movies in our smaller group and then get together as friends in smaller groupings. Five of us went to the movies on Sunday morning for example. It turns out that of the eight women in my smaller group, four of us have aging parents we're dealing with. And the four of us are all very responsible people who would help each other in a minute. So I'm thrilled!
You could certainly start a group for caregivers. It takes some work to get started, but I've made some very good friends that I believe will be there for the long haul. I may eventually quit the bigger group, as it's a lot of work. I charge $10 a year for membership. A lot of people start MeetUp groups or join them just to find some friends, then leave the bigger group.