My father passed away a year ago at age 96 my mother just turned 89. I am 46 . I was a late in life child. My mother had a fall on Christmas Eve and it caused a pretty bad brain bleed. It left her with mild stroke like symtoms. Added to her moderate demensia and life long battle with depression she is not able to live alone ever again. She does not know this yet as the dr's said it would just destroy her emotionally . She has not been the nicest person growing up. And I see them characteristics now. Its such a strain on me. I love her and do not want her in a nursing home. I'm going to find this site my new home I am sure. So glad I found it. I've read some of the threads and its all to familliar.. Hang in everyone. This won't last forever.
Make sure you get her legal paperwork, Advanced Med Directive, DPOA, financial history, bills, etc. This will be extremely important in your decision making and ability to make decisions.
Start some conversations with her now and get her input on how she sees things and what her expectations are? Does she think she can stay at home?
Consult with her doctor; privately if you can. What does he see in her future? How is her physical health? What exactly is her mental health status -- do you need more tests? consultation on level of care she might need now and in the future?
Are there other siblings, neighbors, friends, church friends that can assist -- if so, find out what they can and will do to help in the short term and long term.
Then you can consider your caregiving options; in-home care, AL, Memory Care, etc.
Good luck and you came to the right place!
Sometimes we need to give them more credit, unless they are very unreasonable.
Give everything a try, and take care of yourself:) xo