I am the youngest and the only one who has been caregiving for our mom. Yet, they still try to intimidate and bully like when kids. Always trying to make me feel bad for getting tired of mind, body and soul and never wanting to truly help me by giving me breaks. I got the most degrading, disrespectful email from my brother today. He said and I quote "as the oldest and only male sibling I feel compelled to bring this family together. " Well where has he been the last 18 years? Definitely not helping me! As if I haven't been an adult for quite some time and literally having my mom's life in my hands!!!!! Then again mom doesn't help at all because she is so passive and doesn't want to get them mad. They should kiss my feet for taking such good care of her! Oh but I let him have it. Course nothing will change. I really need to hear from others who are going through similar situation and how did youdeal with it. Today I blew up and it felt good!!!
Another thing, if your brother thinks it means something significant being the oldest and only MALE sibling, maybe he could show some maturity by actually bringing all the siblings together to come up with a reasonable plan of shared care for your Mom - especially if they have no intentions of paying you for your time. Don't let "distance" issues enter the picture either - everyone has to be expected to make some sacrifices, whether financial or personal. Good luck and hang tough!!
Also I hope you have POA and don't have to get their approval to spend Mom's funds on her...