Mom divorced when I was 7. Sibling was 13 then. We never saw dad again. Mom had that stipulation on the divorce. Mom brought us up alone, no alimony, no child support, no re-marriage (afraid of new husband could be a child abuser), totally vested in the 2 of us girls. I married when I was 20 and from So. Mexico moved to the USA. Sister stayed with mom. Sister never helped with anything........mom allowed that. When I would go visit thru the years, I could see how much catering mom did for my sister, and my sister was a moocher and a taker. I did not like it, but... it was not my house nor my life, so I would try to defend mom and demand help with expenses. Sister ignored it all and mooched off mom. She stole from her who knows for how long. All the cash I could put together and send off to Mexico would disappear too quickly as of about 6 yrs. ago. Went down there to check things out, fridge broken, food spoiling, mom catering to sister hand and foot. Mom had no income, just what my hubby and I could send. Mom started having serious health issues, and instead of sister going to MD with her, the housekeeper would. Then, one of the many times mom came for a visit *for a month*, which was her one and only vacation in the year... my sister never took her anywhere... mom goes back home and finds an empty house... no sister, no sister's belongings..........lights out.............housekeeper/friend was with mom, walked into dining room to find a FOUR PAGE LETTER, written by sister stating: "I cannot take care of you. What you need is too expensive and I do not have it. Do not look for me. Do not search for me. Forget about me. I am gone." Mom, broken hearted, startled, hurt, confused, grabbed the letter and read it off to me over the telephone. I had taken mom to airport that morning, and that evening she was telling me what sibling had written..................................................................Well... my stomach sank. Half of me was glad that the mooching and stealing would stop. The other half of me KNEW that mom would not survive living alone. My intuition/common sense/inner self started mentally preparing for her coming to live with us. Mom and housekeeper went on a search.........and not finding her, mom fell into severe deep depression. Housekeeper spent the night with mom for 2 months, after which she said: My dad says I need to live at home... Then mom started looking for another companion to come in and live or rent... to no avail. Mom would go out driving, doing her daily supermarket run, paying bills, whatever and forget where she parked the car. MANY TIMES. Mom would go to an internet café every week to Instant Messenger with me, and I could see her in the camera looking AWFUL! Too thin, too weak, too sad................... On April 11, 2011 I asked her to move here with us. She said YES!!! Oh wow, I was elated. Had zero idea of what it is like to become a caregiver. But, I have been at it since July of 2011. What would you say? Sibling went awol, missing, MIA, when she could see mom declining, said bye bye, don´t bother me, I´m busy with my career, my single life, my accumulated wealth. You are old. You gave it all for me. Yeah, and who cares. See who or what YOU can do for yourself, I am too busy being selfish and egocentric. To this minute, we never heard of her again. Even dogs and cats, mice, penguins care about their families. Monkeys caress and take the bugs off their parents to bond and make them happy. What happened here, besides the obvious??? If anybody could chime in, I am all ears. I am glad - to a point - that she left. She resented my birth, since she was the only child till I came to mess up her world. That is what I did. Mom did not do that. This is history I have been meaning to put down in writing but did not have the courage. Mulata88 <3
I'm sorry that everything fell on your shoulders.It's not right or fair.Know that you are a good daughter and I'm sure she loves you very much.I think "selfish"is the only word to describe it.I don't know how some people can live with themselves.Bless you for hanging in there.Take care,Lu
who cuts the grass ?
im pretty mixed up here ....
Mom told me once, back when...........back years long time ago: You never have children so you don't understand the love a mother has for her child. (defending my sister obviously I was up to the eyebrows in rage for my sister's mooching and abusing mom)., and I said: No, mom, but I AM A DAUGHTER, and I understand what that is.
GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.................................
Once in a greaaaaaat while, when mom has a good day and a clear mind, she says: I wonder whatever happened to your sister??!?!?!?!?!?
I say: Well mom, she is WHERE she wants to be. And I am SURE she is HAPPY. Mom gets quiet and I walk off......................
M88