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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I think Christmas hurts the most. At first they are there with their kids. Then the kids marry and the spouses are added to the table. Then there are grandchildren to add to the table. Everything is so full.
But then one or more kids move away. The grandchildren get married and start their own lives. The spouse dies. The Christmas gathering becomes smaller and smaller. Where is everyone? Don't they care about them anymore?
I explain to my mother that it is the way of life, but she finds little comfort. I understand why the family members are absent. I also understand the way she feels. It is just the way life is.
I think the prodigal sons and daughters are the ones elders often want to bring back into their lives. Perhaps there's some basic sense of abandonment by one's child, or it's the need to have all the children back in the fold as they were when they were growing up. Or perhaps it's a sense of rejection that hurts more as parents age.
I'll start the ball rolling. I read on another thread that people were interested in talking about this.
I am the only daughter in a family of 4 kids. One of my brothers died in his 50s. Two remain. Neither are involved with caregiving. One lives with his wife halfway across the country, so there isn't really anything he can do. The other lives an hour away with his family. They are very involved in their local community and church. Their church relations have become their family, so my brother pays little attention to us here. This is okay with me, since I know people have to have their own lives. It drives my mother crazy, though. She talks about him every day. He is the golden child and she blames his wife for ruling the roost and keeping him away from her. I hear about him and his children so much, especially the eldest son. She doesn't understand why they don't come around or call.
So I don't mind my brothers not helping, but I do wish my mother wouldn't talk so much about the one that lives close by. I think she believes he is her only joy, even though he pays her little mind. Sometimes I write him and tell him to call her when he gets the chance. My brother isn't much of a talker, so the conversation is short. But she usually feels better after talking to him.
Not very exciting, I know. I have a feeling other sole daughters will want to add to this if they see it, so I am bouncing it back to the top.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But then one or more kids move away. The grandchildren get married and start their own lives. The spouse dies. The Christmas gathering becomes smaller and smaller. Where is everyone? Don't they care about them anymore?
I explain to my mother that it is the way of life, but she finds little comfort. I understand why the family members are absent. I also understand the way she feels. It is just the way life is.
I am the only daughter in a family of 4 kids. One of my brothers died in his 50s. Two remain. Neither are involved with caregiving. One lives with his wife halfway across the country, so there isn't really anything he can do. The other lives an hour away with his family. They are very involved in their local community and church. Their church relations have become their family, so my brother pays little attention to us here. This is okay with me, since I know people have to have their own lives. It drives my mother crazy, though. She talks about him every day. He is the golden child and she blames his wife for ruling the roost and keeping him away from her. I hear about him and his children so much, especially the eldest son. She doesn't understand why they don't come around or call.
So I don't mind my brothers not helping, but I do wish my mother wouldn't talk so much about the one that lives close by. I think she believes he is her only joy, even though he pays her little mind. Sometimes I write him and tell him to call her when he gets the chance. My brother isn't much of a talker, so the conversation is short. But she usually feels better after talking to him.
Not very exciting, I know. I have a feeling other sole daughters will want to add to this if they see it, so I am bouncing it back to the top.