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Let him bad mouth you, you know you did everything you could for him, he's miserable and is probably never wrong. Let him rant on and on, You know the truth and your children know the truth. I bet your children look up to you with much pride when you are all finally out of there, they will admire your strength and determination to better your life and theirs. You deserve better and getting out of there is your first step.
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My dad moved in with us, but I seem to have some of the same things going on that you do. He's okay health wise for an 83 year old, but his thoughts are different that reality. I start my day before work so frustrated and either in tears or with a headache. I told him yesterday we were going out for Chinese food for dinner. He said, what? Seafood? I said, "Chinese Food!" THen he gets mad, I can hear fine, I just can't understand you. He's trimming trees down and mowing the lawn for my husband, so he's happy as a clam. I feel like I'm dealing with the grumpy old man. My brother shows up about once a month. Like your dad, my dad doesn't have any social life. He's up at 5:00 am and always there. Sorry, my trying to comfort you has turned into my own personal rant. It's all just so easier said than done I'm finding...
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Leasha, OMG up at 5am ?? How do you deal with it ? Well at least hes trimming trees and mowing the lawn. My father sits on the couch all day. Every time the phone rings (although we determined I would answer the calls because of his hearing and that he gets scammed so often by telemarketers) he turns the TV down (normally its at full blast) so he can hear who Im talking to...or he follows me to hear the conversation. But when he wants to have private conversations on the phone he talks very low...however with me he does nothing but shout because of his "hearing problem" Being on this site has been a huge help because you all understand. My siblings are now ignoring my emails. They have no clue.
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Move out now or you will regret it. let those brothers take over.
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That sounds just like my dad. The paranoia, snooping, raging/shouting, accusations got much less after I got him to a neurologist (he would never have gone to a psychiatrist) who prescribed an anti-psychotic. My father was the same -- wouldn't watch TV, read, do anything to stay occupied. He accused me of thinking I owned the place when I cleared off a couch so I had a place to sit (he expected me to sit on a straight back chair in his bedroom to keep him company). He sat in his room all day and made up stories then would come down and accuse me of stealing, plotting against him, ask me for sex and tell me "lots of people" have sex with their daughters and it's ok and clutching his crotch and telling me how much I would enjoy it-- and that happened after he'd been on the anti-psychotic for 3 months.

How long are your brothers planning on you taking care of him? One of the best suggestions someone gave me was to use my iPad to record his behavior so there was documented evidence. (remember to keep your hand off the microphone so others can hear his ranting). I put up with it for 5 months and simply could not take any more. You can see my other post about "how do I get him on hte plane". He is in a Alzheimers home now, tho i think he's only in the beginning stages of alzheimers -- he's got some other form of dementia whether from stroke or whatever else. The system seems to be so geared towards protecting the elder that there is no resources for carers who are not trying to take advantage of difficult elders.
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Sadly, once we move "back home" our parents treat us like children and forget that respect flows both ways. I am my mother's caregiver because the local siblings could not/would not step up to do what needed to be done. They accepted her decline as natural and waited for death. There were no aides or nurses hired. No one, other than another caregiver, understands all you and your children have sacrificed in order to provide the care your father needs. If you don't take care of your own needs, how will you be able to care for your father? I have to agree that your moving out may be the only way to get attention. When we discussed, with my mother, that my husband and I would move in with her, promises were made. We trusted, because "family takes care of family," but so few of those promises have been kept and several have been outright broken. Nothing was written, as it should have been, as it would have been had my mother hired a stranger. Hang in there. Know that you gave it your best shot, but know also that nobody will be there for you if you burn out. Your children need you, too.
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My mother recently passed away. She battled cancer for the past 20 months, and I put all my things into storage and moved in with her for 6 months. I experienced many of the same circumstances and feelings you describe. After 6 months, I moved into my own apartment. It was much better for me (and my daughter) to have our own place and distance ourselves from the emotional and mental anguish living with my mother caused us.
My point is this - now that my mother is gone, I feel really bad that I did not stick it out a few months longer. It causes me great distress to think of my mother spending so much time alone in her last days. While I still spent alot of time with her after I moved out, it was not to the degree living with her allowed. So my advice to you is to think about how you will feel, once your father is gone, if you move out now into your own place. I am not advising you not to (I was in the same boat and I couldn't take it anymore and did), I am just advising you to think of the long term impact this decision will bear. Carrying this regret with me the rest of my life is a terrible burden. Spending most of her last days alone must have been terrible for my mother.
I wish you much peace and strength through this terribly difficult time in your life.
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TooMuch4Me, it is much more difficult to take care of your parent in their home rather than in your own. I refused to live with my mother and she ended up living with us.
Your father is similar to how both my parents were. My father passed away in January. Both my parents thought that my brothers walked on water and took them place and treated them nicely. As for us girls we were considered slaves and were abused verbally and physically. SOME of their generation see things differently and if your brothers were raised as mine were, then they are going to believe that the girls should take care of the parents. It’s sad but true.
If your father isn’t willing to allow you to put locks on your door and your daughter’s doors then you should move out. If he doesn’t respect you or your privacy now it will only get worse as time passes.
Since he doesn’t require you to be there all of the time and he does have someone coming in to help, maybe you can get an apartment close by and help the caregiver out when needed. BUT, if you do that, then you need to be paid for your time. Your time is not worthless. Your time is valuable and you should be paid for it. Taking care of someone else’s needs 24/7 is draining and you aren’t going to have time for your own children. I was a single parent for 10 years and I know the strain that comes with that. Believing that living with your father would be a relief to the pocketbook, having the security of your children in a home. It ends up being worse for them in the long run.
As for the health assistant with an attitude, fire her and hire someone else. You don’t need that additional stress.

Take care of yourself and your children. Your father apparently has all the slaves he needs.
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@4minis4me,

I know all about regrets; I didn't move in to my childhood home with my mom and instead ended up bringing her to reside in a facility near me, and will always wonder what would have gone better or worse if I had decided differently. (I did not think I could handle her care, and it would have been prety much all on me, whicle I work full-time plus and provide essentially the sole income for the family, which was mod to max assist for all mobility and ADL except feeding herself, and also very negative and critical personality.) See, I stil feel guilty about it too!!

But, this author has a dad who is more physically independent and could keep going strong for YEARS, not months. She's got to move out, she and her kids have no privacy, no control, and no life where they are. Maybe Dad can't help it given his personality characteristis plus his dementia, but still it just isn't tolerable for an indeterminate length of time. She does not have to drop out of his life altogether, but trying to work and live in the same house is going eat her and her kids alive.

There may be even more regrets if the girls are emotionally scarred from living in a battleground and having their rooms invaded daily. Unless dad could go to a senior center daily without it being a maybe-I-will maybe-I-won't fight every day, I do not see how this situation can work. Once she moves out, limits will have to be set on requests between visits or he will continue to drain her dry without a drop of gratitude just because he thinks she SHOULD be catering to his every request on a full time basis - her job adn her kids won't figure into the equation at all in his mind.
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You guys are truly amazing. ...I do have an update. Today began with a 3 hour SCREAMING match at 7am.. Well it began with my father and sister having a screaming match on the phone ...then the conversation turned to me because my sister told my father I was planning on moving out.I think it was to get the conversation off her ..anyway instead of taking responsibility for being argumentative he claimed I get all upset because I dont want him to say anything to my children. He says hes going to stop arguing etc. but the truth is he doesnt feel he did anything wrong. Im at the point where I dont want to be near him and I cannot hide my disdain.He also made it seem as if my sister is paying me to stay with him which is not true. He sees me as a worker , no different than the HHA.
Drama every single day.
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If he can afford assisted living I would suggest that, or some other living arrangement for your father. My mother went thru that agitated/paranoid phase and it was hell on me and my husband, and I too spent many days and nights crying. Think about yourself and your family first and do not ever feel guilty, you sound like a great daughter! Blessings to you.
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Hi again. I didn't say in my earlier post that I didn't think you should move out. I want to be clear about that. When I was in a similar situation, I did. Believe me, I fully understand. I had to come to terms with the fact that I have a responsibility to my child, and frankly to myself, to provide a healthy, safe living environment. I don't think you are wrong to move out, nor do I judge you in any way. I simply want you to be at peace with your decision, so that down the road you are not overcome with sorrow and regret (as I am). That is all I was trying to say. I think you are heroic for the sacrifices you have made to live with your father, and I also think you should not be subjected to abusive, intolerable living conditions.
I wish you and your children the very best. If I could, I would give you a hug.
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If it wasnt for this list I wouldnt know what to do...no one in my life seems to understand...and each moment it gets worse. Tonight I had to listen to him talking about me like a dog..telling my sister that there are not arguments every day, that its my fault Im a single mother.... My sister gave him the ammunition he needed by saying that she told me not to go so hyper all the time. Who wouldnt be hyper with three children, a demanding job and dealing with an aging parent...Its like Im in this alone.
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You are not in this alone. You need to sit down with your sister and tell her that she is making it more difficult for you and that if she doesn't knock it off that you are walking out the door and leaving her to deal with your father.
Your job is hard enough as it is. You should be receiving support from your sister rather than criticism. My siblings don't help me but they don't talk shit to my mom about me. I wouldn't tolerate that and you shouldn't either. There is no call for that.

If your father doesn't respect you, your children are going to see you being treated like "a dog" and they will begin to mimic his behavior. I have seen this happen. Do not let your father take that away from you.
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Im still very angry about yesterday's three hour drama. Ive been quiet today and have stayed completely away from my father. Once again he gets on the phone with my sister to discuss me and how he is glad she spoke to me about MY behavior. Im livid with her right now. My father sees her as superior to me in every way...looks wealth you name it. Although she doesnt live here she pays for the HHA and whatever extra things he needs done. For some reason he thinks Im also on her payroll and therefore I answer to her too. Yes Im an emotional person, high strung you name it. Ive said Im not well equipped to be in the situation and I never wanted to be in it in the first place. More and more I feel back in the same role I was in growing up and Ive noticed that Ive fallen back on food as comfort, just like when I was a kid. Just gives them something else to talk about... Although my father claimed this morning that he needs me here, he thinks hes doing me and my "poor" disadvantaged children a big favor. Im going to continue to look for an apartment because I know its a matter of time before the next blow up....
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Argh, I'm sorry. It's all so painful. So much of me wants to be rational, but like you I tend to be emotional. I made crockpot stew for dinner and he said it tasted like broth and meat, not like stew. (probably from being in the crockpot) I told him he hurt my feelings and he said, "if you can't handle what people say without getting your feelings hurt all of the time, you're not going to have anyone left talking to you." This on my wedding anniversary with my husband in bed with flu like symptoms... I mean, what are you supposed to say? I just shut up and took the dog for a walk. He watched Jeopardy and went to bed. Everyone says I'll adjust but I just don't know. I don't know if I should suggest he start looking at Senior Living.
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I found my Father's CNA' on Care. It costs $30 to join for 1 month. A cheap way to find a good CNA. We have 3 and they work 12 hour days and split up the 72 (week) work schedule however they want it. We pay them $10 hr. cash and they love it. They get there at 10 and leave at 10 after putting Dad to bed. I would start looking for another caregiver.
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I look forward to sending you house warming wishes, you are trying so hard to make your situation better. Be strong and good luck in bearing with it in the meantime.
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