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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Sorry to hear what you have been going through. Its tough to see any elderly parent feel like this. I would have the doctor review their meds? Or conduct some additional tests? Are they depressed? Are they dying?
I didn't know this but my dad had heart failure. He started eating less and less. I tried Ensure and giving him Boost but he was getting weaker and weaker. I guess it can be a lot of little things leading up to not eating much and refuses to change their soiled underwear. My dad started to get angry about having showers. I had to put my foot down and beg him to have at least one shower a week. But in hindsight, I didn't realize there was deeper issue. He was dying. And this is why there was a drastic change in his behaviour. I hope you can find the right answer. Keep digging. I know its hard but do the best you can.
Chente, what are the living arrangements for your parent? What is the health situation? Sometimes this behavior is typical of dementia, but it could be other things. Sometimes people forget how to toilet, eat and bathe! Is there an aide or family member assisting with these things?
My mother started just picking at her food about a month before a UTI landed her in the hospital. I spoke to the doctor who advised that it was OK to substitute a Glucerna (she's diabetic) for her meals. He also prescribe an anti-depressant/appetite stimulant. I saw a big improvement over a couple of days but then the UTI must have hit and she regressed.
When asked, she would blame my cooking but she really would not eat anything.
The food in rehab was disgusting so I figured that would explain the not eating. She is home not and ignores even her favorite foods.
About the soiled clothing, if they are not already in depends, start using them. And have a schedule where they are changed every two hours (recommended by Mom's urologist). Don't let them fight you on this. Sitting in wet underwear/depends means that the urethra (in women) is sitting directly on bacteria and will end up causing a UTI.
Can anyone give names of any “antidepressants and or appetite stimulate” I guess a combo med or simply an appetite stimulate as already on 25 mg Zoloft which doesn’t seem strong enough??-89 yr old father steadily starving himself refusing to eat and I have more Dr appts coming up for him and being told no such thing as an appetite stimulant?? Thank you to all
Whinnydog, please note that elders tend to slow down on their eating. One reason is that they are no longer active, thus don't have the need to chow down on a lot of calories.
Another reason is that as we age we tend to lose our sense of taste. Most elders can still taste sugar, so if Dad doesn't have issues with sugar intake, let him eat the sweets. At 89 years old, he should eat what he wants.
When was the last time Dad went to the dentist? Maybe he has a tooth that hurts when he eats.
Or maybe he has acid reflux which could make him scared to eat. Stay away from anything with tomatoes and drinking sodas as a start to see if that may help. Dad could eat 1 or 2 Tums before eating, I know it helps me. Check with his doctor first.
As for meds, stay away from meds to try to get your Dad to eat. With side effects from meds, you wouldn't want to upset his stomach.
thanks everyone for your help and advise, but my dad passed away last week. to assist your own research, he was only drinking cokes I would bring, and I added a little sugar packs. I figured it would also be good if he had a upper or lower partial bowel restriction due to the thimbles of fluids they were supplying during meals. i think dementia may have had an effect also, but he remembered me till he died. He would ask for me all the time. he would not eat anything else I would bring.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sorry to hear what you have been going through. Its tough to see any elderly parent feel like this. I would have the doctor review their meds? Or conduct some additional tests? Are they depressed? Are they dying?
I didn't know this but my dad had heart failure. He started eating less and less. I tried Ensure and giving him Boost but he was getting weaker and weaker. I guess it can be a lot of little things leading up to not eating much and refuses to change their soiled underwear. My dad started to get angry about having showers. I had to put my foot down and beg him to have at least one shower a week. But in hindsight, I didn't realize there was deeper issue. He was dying. And this is why there was a drastic change in his behaviour. I hope you can find the right answer. Keep digging. I know its hard but do the best you can.
When asked, she would blame my cooking but she really would not eat anything.
The food in rehab was disgusting so I figured that would explain the not eating. She is home not and ignores even her favorite foods.
About the soiled clothing, if they are not already in depends, start using them. And have a schedule where they are changed every two hours (recommended by Mom's urologist). Don't let them fight you on this. Sitting in wet underwear/depends means that the urethra (in women) is sitting directly on bacteria and will end up causing a UTI.
Another reason is that as we age we tend to lose our sense of taste. Most elders can still taste sugar, so if Dad doesn't have issues with sugar intake, let him eat the sweets. At 89 years old, he should eat what he wants.
When was the last time Dad went to the dentist? Maybe he has a tooth that hurts when he eats.
Or maybe he has acid reflux which could make him scared to eat. Stay away from anything with tomatoes and drinking sodas as a start to see if that may help. Dad could eat 1 or 2 Tums before eating, I know it helps me. Check with his doctor first.
As for meds, stay away from meds to try to get your Dad to eat. With side effects from meds, you wouldn't want to upset his stomach.