I was one of the main caregivers for my grandma for about three years. Only my mom and one cousin helped and I felt like I lost my extended family because they wouldn't help. When my grandma died I felt free and that I had my life back. Then three months later my mom had a stroke and I became her caregiver. It has been over a year and I receive very little help from my brothers. Mom had recently has had more medical problems and I had to pay a lot of bills. I only have enough money to pay someone to watch mom while I work so I don't get out a lot. I feel very alone and I don't have anyone to talk to. My mom was my best friend. Recently I felt like I have no friends or family. I have even thought about suicide a few times. Right now I know I wouldn't do that but it scares me that I even thought it. I can't afford to go to a support group so I thought I would try online. I have to find a way to stop feeling so isolated that won't cost a lot of money. Any ideas, support, or just happy thoughts? Right now I'm open to anything.
I know that financial matters are only one of the issues you face, but getting help in that area can ease the stress in other areas, too.
Getting your brothers to help might be a lost cause, but have you tried specific requests? Do they live in the area? "Danny, could you stay here with Mom next Saturday night, so I can go out with friends? She goes to bed early." "Pete, could you invite Mom over to your house for dinner Wednesday night, or take her to McDonald's, so I can go to a support meeting?" If you haven't asked for specific help on a specific date, it would be worth a try.
WIth regard to Medicaid, does mom get too much on a monthly basis to qualify, or does she have "assets"? Have you consulted an eldercare attorney about eligibility?