It is mindboggling to me the selfishness I have learned in not only family but "so called" friends as well... as family is no more in our life, in my case, all I have are friends and I have to adjust and accept or I will have no friends.
It is not their burden, but I just hate the false "lemme know if there is anything I can do" and then when you finally break down and ask, they are too busy getting their nails done or ????. You get to see and hear all the fun they are having...thru this lovely internet n Facebook. I'm like, "looks like a blast, maybe next time lets throw the BBQ over here. sure be nice to see you all" and crickets... anyway one of my last touchy subjects trying to work thru so I don't hurl myself off a cliff..hahahha
Family is another story tho...they are the ones who are "supposed to" be there! and that's why we feel so disappointed!!
To hell with the lot of them imo. I stopped asking for assistance from them, just use paid caregivers when I must.
Worst is when mom sees it herself in her more lucid moments. How to explain to her that her son is a completely selfish idiot in a way that doesn't make me sound like the looney one! xD
I lean upon God for comfort and strength, for I'm learning that He alone can be my help - choosing to give support as He pleases, not in the way I demand it.
And, I have to forgive those who turn a blind and willing eye towards my Mom and my needs.
I used to walk into a room and wonder do they like me, now I wonder do I like them!
I used to be attracted to clever people now I am attracted to kind!
To realize that I have made a choice not to be around them is empowering, rather than feeling abandoned, hurt and alone!!
still sucks to be so lonely but what ya gonna do....
I have to add too....with the facebook thing, I usually keep up with what everyone doing there cuz I cant get out. So when I post something bout our troubles like when she broke her hip n shouldr . I was flooded with the whatever you need we are their for you posts by these "friends". It really makes em feel good to publicly support me im sure! oh oh im such a good friend cuz I can type I love you! but not one person offered any kind of support in person. never a phone call visit or anything... I even knew it was gonna be that way so all I asked is anyone going to town please let me know as I may hitch a ride to rehab as gas back n forth is going to kill me...crickets
And even those that are willing to help out in many ways most always stop short on the 'ANYTHING you need...anything at all' deal when it comes to changing adult diapers.
I can't say I blame anyone on that count, but I do know a lot of my friends have probably learned a lesson from the experience...don't say 'anything' unless you truly mean 'anything.' Especially with me, because I will take you up on it.
LOL
but this type of support makes it possible to feel validated...and we are actually working out a solution to the problem...
I have been wanting for years to go to a reggae festival...turns out this friend had recently moved from my home state to this state, not 2 miles from the event...so we are working a plan to have her watch ma as I go and she is gonna call me on cell when mom is poopy...I still have no one to go with but I can go...1/2 the battle!
AMAZING WHAT 2 CAN DO WHEN THEY PUT THEIR HEADS TOGETHER!
Man FAITH and PRAYERS are really paying off, and this friend who located up few years ago, has shown me that...we laff cuz haven't seen each other in 14ys and it is like we never were apart except for she got 2 boys now 7,12 and we say crazy there was a reason we were brought back together!! I wish I could see her more...we only talk cple times a month and seeing 4-5 times since here.but everytime it is like old times I feel so at home comfortable and truly appreciated with her and she luvs my mama genuinely. you can see it oozes out of her. ..I will call more tho .....I love quotes too...so this is the one for the day! God helps those who help themselves!
“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.”
Ralph G. Nichols
I am a Military spouse 17 years, hubby is a LTC and we are stationed in Tampa at SOCOM. I go home and visit with dad a couple times a year for a few weeks.. But I have now been told I am not allowed to see him. No restraining order, so the POA, is just puffing out his chest because legally he can't not do that.
Anyway I have been hurt so much and cried so much that I do not call dad anymore. THEY WON! I send cards, but I feel he could call me, he is not that bad. I had to give up my father and my relationship with my father because my uncle is mean, spiteful man. I have a feeling, that it is about money and it will be the 2 of them that have things cooking. Very sad....I have no family, all because one person does not like me....I only spent 4 days with him.....My brother had told him things that were not true, and a 60 year old would rather listen to him, than to give me a chance!!BLAH
OK so I took my rant to facebook and OMG...A girlfriend hopped in the car and drove 1 mile with beer and helped me with mom...I am exhausted. I don't think I coulda done it with out her now. We laffed..we have now devised a plan to put my scuba gear and a rope on her son and have him mow my waist high lawn. so I can get some Vitamin D, as I will not. I have one sinkhole already and refuse to walk in my yard...furthurering this prison.by the way. anayway we laffed forever on that one...flippers!
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the TRUTH don't lie.
YOU FIND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get their fast
Never stop to think...What's in it for me?
Or it's way too far?
They just show on up, with their big ol hearts
YOU FIND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE!
Tracy Lawrence =}
JuJu Bean, we seem a lot alike. Keep your head up. You are not alone!
I tested my local friends and Jaw was on the ground litereally...when the phone rang saying Im on my way with some honeycrisp apple wheat shock top, and we sit on porch...i was too tired for that tho 90 deg....sat lookin at my jungle in the a/c.
But also-reconnected with an old friend from home with health issues, developed a relationship with her sis and friend both have cancer. Over one of my dry humor statements that sis actually took offense too initially, now we are all buds and supporting eachother!!!
I do have to complain about the closest neighbor tho.....see's us n wheelchair all the time, only a smile n a wave, and ambulances come n go....oh well! I envited them to a bbq when they arrived and have not been reciprocated ...oh well....
thing are lookin up!
that is her response...i cannot fathom the hearts these people have! she should have gave me notice tho is my only problem the rest don't let the doorknob hit ya!!!
i need a nap!!!