I told my sister because of my current back issues, I can't sit in hard chairs( can;t stay for the brunch) and I wanted one on one time with our mother on Easter Sunday from 11am-11:30am which 11:30 is when my sister said she would be there. Now she has changed her time to come at 11am. I want to see my mom without having to entertain my sister but she can't see or understand that. Our mom has Alzheimer's, sis it primary on the POA. I know the logical solution is to come at 10:30 but I also wanted to visiti with sis and my brother. So without getting all emo here...what more can I say to my sis that my time with our mom is private and important to me...She isn't getting it at all.
You know that Mother's Day is just around the corner. Have the schedule ready and written down if you want private time. Be sure to post it or email it or something so that the other family members can't say they forgot or didn't know.
Enjoy your visit and hopefully you can stay for the brunch. Sorry about your backache. Maybe a pain pill and a cushion can get you through the day comfortably.
Right now the issue is pressure on the left sciatic nerve. I have not been able to visit my mom since 3-14.I can sit for short periods of time..mostly I have to lay down on my back to relieve the pain. I somewhat brought this on myself because I ignored the pain..slapped an ice pack on and after 30 minutes was good to go. I love my Chiro because I went to went against his orders last Friday (3-27 I clocked in at 9:00 am and clocked out again at 9:51)
It is just resting using ice packs, manipulation of my spine, muscle relaxers and anti inflammatories.
I don't want to hurt my sis...but I want her to understand that I what time with our mom that is personal
My three sisters and I all visit our mother in a nursing home. We try to keep each other informed of when we are going, in order the spread the visits out. We don't want three of us to visit on Monday and then no one the rest of the week. But if it happens two of us are there together, No Big Deal -- we'll be alone with Mother the next visit.
Can't you visit your mother alone anytime you want to? If Sis lives farther away and it is harder for her to schedule, can't you just plan your visits around hers? At least she is telling you when she will be there, and you can plan accordingly -- both to have some time with your Sister and Mother together, if you want that, and to plan another visit with Mother alone.
What am I missing? Why is your sister's visiting time a problem for you?
When you get to the facility to visit your mom, lie on her bed rather than trying to sit up the entire time. Maybe she'll lie down with you and you can hold her and talk.
POA (as mentioned in your initial question above) has nothing to do with how often you OR your sister visit with your mother. It is merely a legal document that allows someone to make decisions on your mother's behalf. So don't sweat the fact that she is primary on POA.
Hope you work this out to your satisfaction. Don't blame sister for wanting to see you too. Plus, I'm sure your mom enjoys the double attention and doesn't mind having you both there.
I hope you got a nice visit with your mother, and really, if I were you, I'd get a pillow. Anything you can do to ease your pain even a little bit, is worth it I think.
Yes I did have a good visit with my mom for 30 minutes, then my sis and brother came. We all had a good visit together.
Littletonway~Sometimes you just want to have that little bit of personal time alone with your parent. Not to monopolize them...just to enjoy a little one on one time. I hope you were able to get some time as well.