Hi my sister still owes money to my husband for working on her house 10 years ago when she was going through a divorce on top of it all, she always gives airy promises and never keeps them she promised to do some baking and preplanned meals for my my Mom never did I have been here a year gave up my job and moved from far away and I was here three winters in a row before that she and my brother are an hour away she promise to pay for a pedicure for me and do a sister fun get away for two days never happen the list goes on then she talks about me to my oldest daughter who also when mad at me they talk together I know this because when in a good mood my daughter tells me what she says so sick of it what to do and she is on my Facebook and I say like to a lot of her stuff and she never does on mine?? To add to this I once ask her if she could help me with coming over to help me vacuum my back was out she freaked out and said why can't our Step-Dad kids do it just went off on me I said it's okay I will take care of it has I was in major pain! On top of it all she just finished fostering a child and said she was glad to have more time I thought well this might be good she can come help on weekends then she sends me a video text message of a child and says look at our new addition to the family I almost fell right then and there she is only doing it for the money big time she likes money and fine wine a little too much but has run me down for years even to my own children when I got divorced from their father Please someone anyone I am feeling very mad and sad at the same time!
(A member of my family has never been on time to an event in the entire time I've known her. If I relied on her arriving at a certain time for something critical, everyone else in the family would think I'm the crazy one! I love this person, by the way, but I don't expect her to be anyone but who she is.)
That your sister does not live up to her promises and your expectations is clearly very upsetting to you. I agree with pstegman that seeing a therapist could be very helpful to you. It probably won't change your sister, but it could allow you to live with the situation with less distress.
Start putting yourself first... You are #1 in your life...
Are you in the US? Do you have/will you soon be getting health insurance? I think some counselling really would help you, and you deserve all the help you can get!
If I'm having a pity party seeing posts on FB from my useless siblings is just fuel for the fire made by a pyromaniac!!!
This money she owes your husband… Now then, what about that? Is it an actual outstanding bill, or was it a series of "I'll pay you back, I'll pay you back, don't worry I'll pay you back" airy-fairy verbal IOUs?
If the former, put a copy in front of her and say "Oi, you. Cough up." If the latter, you need decisively to let it go - if your husband's narked, let him take it up with her.