Throughout the course of this adventure, as well as throughout my life, I am finally wanting and needing to know what is wrong with me. There is something inherently wrong with me, there has to be. I do not begrudge being here for my Mom, truly I do not...but all of my life I have done these kinds of things and now am finally seeing that none of it is the least bit appreciated and I know if Mom was able to do so, she would get up, pack her suitcase and move herself into a nursing home. I know she did not want me to do this...I honestly can't imagine doing anything else. But with the loss of my house, I will have officially lost absolutely everything I worked my entire life for. everything. And I think something is wrong with this picture. My Mom is a wonderful woman, but I do not believe even my Mom would have done what i am doing...I have never felt like a normal kid, I have never fit in in the adult world. So what on earth is wrong with me that I have literally fiddled while Rome burned and lost everything I ever worked my behind off for. All the nephews I spent most of my money on, the brother who I helped redecorate their lavish lake home, even parents I have been here for my entire life....I must be the dumbest person on the face of the earth..or naive, or stupid. I don't require much "stuff" to live...a good thing, as I have officially lost my a**.......and it is my own fault.....and I know it.
Your upbringing sounds so like mine. My brothers got everything. It's really rather sad that I even wore their clothes when I was a teenager, because I didn't have anything to wear. They got the cars. I didn't even learn to drive until I was older and taught myself. They got their school paid for. I worked and paid for my education myself. And yet here I am taking care of my parents while my brothers do nothing. We should probably call it the Cinderella Syndrome or something.
But you know, I don't think there is anything wrong with it except we can end up being poor. There are no Prince Charmings waiting to rescue us, so we have to make sure we have something to fall back on. I think our standard answer to "Should I quit my job to take care of family" should be NO!!! We owe it to ourselves not to end up in poverty.
hope22, life starts new each day. The hard part will be to figure where you want to go. Figuring out how to get there should be easier.
stuff blows ..
I feel for you - I truly do. You seem to be teetering on the edge of a meltdown, and while we're all entitled to those now and then, I think you really need to be talking to someone locally that can give you some concrete options and not just pat you on the back and offer consolation.
Keep us posted. We're all here for you and concerned. :-)