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The temp went down to 45* last night but it's warmed up to 80* now. I said open up the windows and let the warm air in. "No I'm cold"

At least I got her to go sit on the deck in the sun.

I dread the oil bill....I have a running joke with my oil man, when I see him coming I go outside and yell "go away"! He laughs because I'm his best customer..$$$$

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I hear you! We live in the south. I have spent the last four years of my life battling the heat. I think the thermostat is our parents' way of getting even with us for our teenage years. My mother fluctuates between being too cold and too hot. And she can't leave the thermostat alone no matter what I say. My father was 100X worse. He was always cold and no amount of heat could warm him up. He tried, though, almost killing every other living thing in the house.
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Crazy glue. This worked when my husband was living with his parents who would refuse to believe that if the wind blew outside that it wasn't blowing inside too. He waited until night, went into the hallway and set the thermostat on a comfortable setting and then crazy-glued that sucker in place. Now this of course would not work on a digital thermostat but you can also get locks to place on those so they can not be altered.
At one point years later, my father-in-law had the heat on in the summer and an electric heater in the room. The visiting nurse told my husband that he was going to die of heat stroke. My husband said, "well, at least he will go out warm." Thankfully, he wasn't still living at home at the time.
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Maybe put up a fake one and move the real one? My husband used to complain mostly about the heat, but as he ages, he's starting to complain more about the cold, too, and he is having trouble deciding what clothing is appropriate for the weather. Sigh.
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Just found this site and this is my first post but I related to this one right away. Hubby did the exact same thing with the thermostat a few nights ago. It went down to the 50's and he switched on furnace and the next day was in the 80's and I could not figure out why I was burning up in the house until I decided to look and see he had shut off a/c and turned on heat. It is over 90 today and yes, the a/c is on 73 in here but he has on sweats and is covered totally with heavy blanket.
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A space heater is a good idea if just one person is cold. Also, a heated mattress pad at night is a good idea. They are also waterproof, so if they have trouble with incontinence it is an added bonus. It also helps with join pain and arthritis.
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My mother has poor circulation in her hands and they are always cold. She lives with my sister and visits me one weekend a month. My sister found electric hand warmers for her, and gloves it is relatively easy for her to take off and put on. When she visits me her chair is in front of our gas fireplace and she usually wants it on, even on very hot summer days. I think pennyearner777 has the right approach. Do what you can that will maximize their comfort level while not melting everyone else in the house!
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Oh she had a space heater but she keeps turning it off and on and tells me it doesn't work!!
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I'd get an electric blanket (or two) and your loved ones can crank them up to whatever temperature they need to stay warm. Put one over them in the living room and have another one for their bed at night. That way, the only thing getting warm is them.
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The electric throw blankets were a god-send for my mom! This way she could be as warm as she wanted & didn't cook us out of the house!
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I'd like to add that when dementia is a part of the picture, maintaining a comfortable temperature for the elder (and not necessarily the rest of the house) takes on an added importance. My husband had a couple of years when heat bothered him a lot. His dementia symptoms got worse when he felt over heated. We got a cooling vest and that enabled him to enjoy the outdoors during this period. My mother's dementia symptoms get worse when she has had an episode of being cold. Uncomfortable temperatures are a stress to the body and it seems any stress adversely affects dementia. Mom has a large collection of sweaters. She has thermal boot slippers. I mentioned the gloves and the electric handwarmer. Especially when our loved ones have dementia, anything we can do to keep them comfortable despite their "broken thermostats" is worth the effort.
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Oh Jeanne...so glad to see you are back!!! Missed you!!
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One of those gel packs that can go in the freezer of the microwave is a godsend. Several to warm or cool in pillowcases and apply where needed!
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well didn't think of it till I started reading this thread, I'm putting the elec heating pad back on the bed & just plug in husbands controls, I called the AC man yesterday, to days with 90 degree + weather & humidity our home was so warm I was sweating, figured it was freon problem, no problem except husband had shut every vent in the house so the cold air couldn't come in, guess he outsmarted me on this one!
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My mother does that, twopupsmom. Then she will say she is too warm and turn the thermostat down, freezing me. I go around and open the vents so the house can cool. Last night was a strange one. For some reason she removed the vent cover and wrapped it in a plastic bag, tried to reinsert it but ended up bending the vent flashing so it wouldn't fit, then set a pair of scissors on the cover and put her bed leg on the top of the scissors to hold everything down. I found it this evening... what the hey. I repaired everything, closed the vent, and gave her a book to put over it to stop any cold air from coming through. I know the rigged vent closing seemed perfectly logical to her, so I didn't say anything.
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My mother at 94 has dementia and insists on opening doors and windows during a heat wave....I have air conditioning in my bedroom and she says if she opens her window in the heat it will not affect my bedroom, but it does...and now we will have a large electric bill.....she says I am selfish because I won't let her open the window....at times I want to strangle her....am I the only one who feels like this?
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Nope you are not alone in wanting to kill her over what I call The Cold Wars which are followed by the Thermonuclear Wars. I am in the midst of a battle right now. Mom wants the Ac blasting at night to where everyone else has icicles hanging off their noses. And then comes the meltdown because she's cold. No kidding. Then she's mad. Nightmare
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Parsnip, close the heating/cooling vents in her room to cut down on the amount of cooler air that goes to her room.
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I can totally relate to these posts. My mom lives down the street from me. We live is a fairly mild climate. She turns her whole house heater and portable heaters on when it is 90 degrees outside. We aren't allowed to use the ceiling fans when we visit because she is cold. Her utility bills are about $500 a month in the winter and she lives alone. It doesn't often go below 60 degrees during the day in the winter here. She loves my dog, however, I tell her that I will not bring my dog to visit her in the summer if she insists on using her heaters. My dog has thick hair and I will not subject her to that heated house.
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My folks live in WV. The heat goes on in Oct and the AC comes on in April. Sometimes the heat runs in the am and the AC in the pm. There hasn't been a window opened since the Carter Administration. If I ever so covertly sneak open a window or two on a nice afternoon my dad will eventually catch a whiff of fresh air and freak out, then run around the house closing windows and adjusting the t stat.
It drives me totally Bug S...T!
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Windy, your Dad sounds like my Mom. My Dad has to sneak open a bedroom window to get fresh air once Mom falls asleep and close it before she wakes up. Inside temp is usually at rain forest level. Mom is bundled up with her thermal clothing... and Dad is walking around barefoot with shorts and a sleeveless undershirt. In winter he will put on shoes.

Now that my Mom is in the hospital, I was trying to adjust the darn gumit programmable thermostat to make it cooler. Whomever invented those things should never invent anything else, ever. I plan to call the heating contractor and ask them to put in a simple thermostat that anybody can use. I want Dad's caregivers to keep coming back !!
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FF your mom is in the hospital?? What did I miss?? My Mom is also always freezing.. and hubs runs hot... this week they have been playing "door wars". He opens the doors to let fresh air in.. she is cold and shuts them. Glad I have been at work so I am OUT of this arguement!
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We live in suite in MIL's home t who has beginnings of alzheimers/dementia. She upstairs, us below. She just home from a month in hospital and is freezing. Upon going to bed last night night my husband checked the thermostat outside her upstairs bedroom and it was 73, he turned it down to 66 to sleep. At 4 a.m. we woke to boiling air and realized the furnace was kicking in every few minutes and of course it blows down into our faces and I'm my MIL'S caregiver and I suffer from chronic migraines and of course now I have a migraine. My husband goes upstairs and the thermostat is back up to 74! This morning he goes up and asks her if she was cold in the night. She says she doesnt know. He tells her about the heat. She says if shes cold she turns the heat up. But she sleeps with just one thin blanket on her bed and a thin or even no night clothes except a thin top and pants. He says maybe she needs to put a warm quilt on her bed rather than cranking the heat up. She says she is tired of him nattering at her, breaks into tears and says maybe she should just move into a home! The irony is that she is the most selfish lady, natters at us constantly, is completely ungrateful and never thinks of anyone BUT herself and this is the first time we have said anything to her! The fact of the matter is if I am going to be fit to care for her I need my sleep and I need not to wake up at 4 a.m. with migraines. Homecare comes today. We pick up her chemo drugs today. She gets a haircut today. She has lab tests today. All of which I am responsible for. Plus her meals, meds which she fights me about and dressing etc!! I am exhausted and in pain!! I want to burst into tears and move into a home!!
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Dementia turned my cousin from a hot natured person into a COLD natured person. She was turning her theromstat up to 90 in the summer time! Until I get her into a facility, I had to put a clear plastic locked box on the thermostat.
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Sunnygirl we are thinking of doing that as well. Actually, MIL always has the furnace "checked" in the fall and has been mentioning it, so I think I'll have them over and see if on the QT I can have them put the working thermostat down in our suite and leave a hers upstairs as a dummy where she thinks she is controlling it but really isn't.
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That's a great idea Jilly! I would take care that she isn't too cold though. I know that when I go to the Memory Care unit, it is very warm all the time. I ask her if she's too hot and she's never too hot. I think they are happier when not too cold. I think if you think of what is comfortable and add 10 degrees, that's about right.
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