My 84 year old Mom is headed to hospice and has deteriorated so much since she fell a month ago, breaking her pelvis and arm in 2 spots. I've been the strong one for our family, dealing with doctors, rehab personnel, social workers, etc. Hardly shed a tear up until this morning.
I really never had hope that mom would be going home since she was already in such bad shape with her severe COPD so the fact that she now is on heavy drugs which have affected her mind and is headed to nursing home hospice isn't really a big shock.
I was thinking that the tears and emotions of losing her would hit when she passed and am surprised at the change in me today compared to the weeks since she fell.
Sometimes people are in and out of hospice. She may get better or she may not. My thoughts are with you in this very difficult time. Take care.
Those tears are stress related as you have been though a lot. A good cry is always good, so let it out. You know that everything that can be done for your Mom is being done. We all react differently. I know I didn't cry when Mom passed, in fact I was relieved as she wouldn't had wanted to spend the rest of her life in that condition. My Mom had a wonderful long life.
Even though my mom had been ill for some time, a heart attack just decelerated her health and it seemed a mountain of things popped up out of nowhere fast. I couldn't process it all it was happening so quickly. It's almost like was emotionally mute for a time. But I realized her time was short, there were enough signs there, even before the doctors prepared me for hospice care. In that last week she struggled so I was profoundly relieved for her when she passed. I had said all I wanted to and prayed with her to send her on to the Lord. I thought I would cry, but I didn't. The mourning had been taking place for a few years, a little more with each set back, that by the time the end was here I was at peace. I miss her so much and dream about her a lot, but I know she is in the best hands now. Cut yourself some slack you're allowed to be human!