I had a rare visit from a sibling yesterday. She suggested Mom maybe needs to be told all is well within the family and to let her know I am tied down caring for her, that its time to go see "dad" etc. Honestly I was shocked. I never say "dont leave me mom" but I just cannot do that. Get the entire picture here... My mom hasnt walked or talked in about 5 years, is on puree food, and incontinent. There is no money involved, its long gone. Yes she is with me and yes I can still get her to smile and laugh. Anyone ever think of such a thing? I try to put myself in others shoes and I cannot imagine someone saying that to me. Very disturbed and confused here.
Mom has a very strong belief in an after life. She grew up in a church that sang hymns that were primarily about how fantastic it is to die and be taken to heaven. Everybody spent every living moment regretting Jesus didn't come overnight. Death is not something she fears. She's grown up in anticipation.
I think you have to know the person quite well to gauge their state of mind and feeling about the situation. You yourself have to be selfless enough to let them go. It's going to happen sometime and I personally don't want my kids dragging it out when it's my turn. Especially if I'm bedfast and my body wants to shut down.
Mom decided not to go and is still here to this day.
My husband and i hugged him more and we both told him to please dont worry about us any more. We love you and we are safe please let go if you want and be in heaven w mom and (my younger brother ) we went to thr kitchen and sat about 10 mins..walked back to the living room and he had gone peacefully. I love Dad annd our house feels so empty but his spirit is here. There are no real words that can describe how he just left his body. .im sorry this is so hard to write but my Dad is at peace. ♡
I think it sounds as though your sister has been reading too many online advice sites. If sis truly feels mom is fighting to hang on she might want to explore a little further why that might be. Is she afraid to go? Does she need a visit from a spiritual advisor? Does she have some other unfinished business?
My mom said that to her sister. She was comatose from morphine and in the hospital dying. She was gone in just a few minutes. Mom always thought she helped her leave.