When I first found this site, I was struggling with being a out of home caregiver to my mother in law. She is dealing with her husband's death for the past two + years and I keep hoping she will be able to bounce back but it doesn't seem to happen.
My husband and I have discussed at some length of having her live with us in a larger home where there is a suite for her. We would spend time with her every day I am sure but we would live somewhat independently. I am in a high stress career and don't have a lot of emotional or physical energy at the end of the day. I am SO thankful that we have not had her share our space. She has a hard time getting herself going and has many days that she doesn't get dressed. I know I would have a hard time with her living with us.
When I read posts from people who are caregiving for their loved ones, it drives home how hard it is and how much one gives up. I can't take on the additional responsibility. My heart goes out to those of you who are in the caregiving role for parents who are difficult, mean or angry. Dealing with Alzheimers or dementia is so tough. My parents have both passed and my Dad went through some difficult times where he was evicted over and over again due to his smoking. We would not have been able to manage his care with any of us, his three daughters.
You are all heroes ... but don't let yourselves pay the ultimate price with your own health. You matter!!! Do what you can to keep yourselves healthy - you deserve it!!!