This morning, when I went to see my mother, she asked me what my name was.
She looked incredulous when I told her the story about how I was the surprise twin, 59 years ago.
Even though I knew in my head that this was on the horizon, it still felt like a punch to my gut.
Big sigh.
Thanks for your update and I am SO sorry that your Mom is being removed from Hospice.
I love that--the surprise twin.
Mom qualified for hospice because she was seriously underweight, and was barely eating. Now, she forgets that she has just eaten, and asks for 3rd break, 2nd lunch, snack after snack…you get the idea.
Her brain may be wasting away from the dementia , but her body keeps on ticking. Today, she walked a lap with me around the circle that makes up the Memory Care rooms. She hasn’t done that in months.
In my opinion, all of this is NOT good news. She hates her life, can’t remember anything longer than 30 seconds, and has zero interest in anything usually, other than laying in bed.
Music makes her angry. Tv holds no interest. She can’t follow anything on a screen. No interest in puzzles, coloring, folding towels, etc, or any of the myriad activities offered by the MC. Nor, anything that we all suggest on this site. Doesn’t like looking at pictures, etc.
It’s a miserable life for her. She knows there is something wrong, but can’t understand when I tell the truth, or fib, or any answer at all.
Just venting, guess.
I think she may out live me.
Big. Darn. Sigh.
She slips in between knowing I'm her daughter and not. sometimes it can happen moment to moment. I just roll with it and introduce myself to her (usually without reference of her being my Mom)
The funny part was once when I was talking about my Dad and a little note of jealousy crept in and she asked me how I knew so much about him, lol.
I just said that I had known him for years and went on with life.
When she doesn't know who I am, she still knows that she's safe and taken care of. That's all I can ask for.
Her MC sends pictures when I’m not there. They have no idea that the eyes that show such fear and befuddlement were not the eyes that looked back at me for 57 years.
This will be her third Christmas, since her brain has kept her from living in the real world. I go from my house, where things go on as usual, to visiting a stranger. One that I can’t really even have a real conversation with. Lord, have mercy on us both.
This sure is a ride! 🥺
Yessss. Reading others' experiences makes us feel not so alone.
Without this site, I would have thought that I was completely nuts. The experience of a LO turning into a totally different person has us questioning all we ever knew about our relationship with them.
It's wackadoodle!
Venting as you say you just did , helps me as I read posts from people who feel as I do.
Also sending you a bubble bath & nice glass of wine ( or tea)
Disappearring from someone's memory is very heartbreaking. I am sorry your mom has reached this point.
She looked more horrified that she didn’t remember what I was telling her.
I hate this day.
Thanks for letting me vent.
But the upside here (if there IS an upside), is that you caused your mother joy today when you told her the story of how you were her surprise twin daughter, 59 years ago. They're like children again themselves, with that look of awe and wonder in their eyes, when they're told a 'new' story they've 'never heard' before.
God bless you and give you the strength & courage you need to withstand this storm known as dementia your dear mom is suffering.