May be a "I'm just tired" day or something like that. With a brain damaged, completely bed-ridden father and a mother whose dementia is getting worse, there are just those days. I don't know that there is anything anyone can do. I just need to vent.
No matter what I do, meds don't get taken right. Everytime I walk in there is a mess to clean up. Seems like someone always needs me to cook, clean, shop, blah, blah, blah. I make plans to ensure there are always supplies. No one can even put a sticker on the "make me aware" board. Makes me want to scream. I cannot make it any easier. Sometimes I wonder, "If I didn't do this, what would happen?" I really do not know the answer to that. But, I know I'm not going anywhere.
Thanks for listening.
I'm sorry things are not going well for you. I understand completely the feeling. Its definitely not fun being the punching bag, nurse, shopper, maid, and most important caregiver. But you are doing what you can...that's all you can do. So give yourself credit. And if you won't ...here me out. I will. Caregiving is one of the hardest jobs that I have ever done. And what makes it harder is that you are doing if for your parents, who may or may not know who you are. But a great big KUDOS to you! Because you are doing something wonderful...and it may not feel like it now. But you will be rewarded in the end.
If you don't already know...check into some Agencies of Area and Disabilities in your area. They have gov funded programs to help the caregiver get some respite. Or send people to help you get out and have some time away. I strongly recommend it. Good luck and God Bless.
notwellmyself In the Morning when you wake up say to yourself... "I made it through yesterday don't know how but ""Good for Me"" !!!!! "
When you go to sleep tonight say to yourself "I did everything I possibly could do today it was a crazy day but tomorrow I will wake and say Good for Me."
We brought hospice in a few months ago and it was the best thing we could do at this stage. They have been so very helpful. We have 2 part-time caregivers I cannot live without. They are worth every penny and then some.
I just get so frustrated with the stage my mother is in. I know I need to be patient. Today was just hard. Maybe it was just this rainy weather. Who knows. She does things that I know she would never do and then tells me I never told her things that I know I did. She sits or stands in the way. She does not help in any way. Thing is, it has only been a few years since she complained about her mother doing the exact same thing. Patience. Maybe that will become my mantra. I think tonight I may have just gone crazy.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I really do appreciate being able to rant. It does help.
Hope all are doing as well as can be expected. Hugs all around xox
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I know it will only get worse. But we just have to take one day at a time. She's not as bad, yet, as some on this site. But I love this site.
Thank you for listening.
I have decided that every caregiver should receive a soundproof suite to escape to. It should come with a microwave, fridge, unlimited comfort food and a massage therapist.
Thanks for being there during all of this. It is great knowing I can let off steam safely and occasionally laugh at all of the inane stuff we live thru.
What I think every caregiver needs is a punching bag. I'm nor very good at screaming, but I'd love to have one of those old fashion punching bags to get rid of the frustrations. But my mother might wonder after a while what all that noise is that keeps coming from the back room.
What I think we really need is an unlimited source of chocolate... and while we're dreaming, we can make it calorie-free but totally delicious.
I don't like chocolate, that is why I said comfort food. I figured everyone could pick out their own. I love the no calorie idea tho. I have put on weight over the last 2 1/2 years.
Maybe instead of sending our loved ones to respite, we could be sent. Nice warm island somewhere. Best part is, no one is allowed to know your name, ask any questions or want you to do anything.
I think I have flipped out. Oh well, at least I'm laughing. Better than frown lines.
Bless you all. Have a wonderful day tomorrow.
I want to give you all a big ((((((HUG))))))! I used to be primary caregiver for my MIL and there were just days I could scream. It will get better. I love the idea about going out into the street and yelling at the same time! LOL! ...and chocolate's not a bad idea, either! I love the nice warm island scenario! Sounds like heaven! My MIL had 5 kids and I agreed to be PC if EVERYONE would help out. Well my DPOA SIL (Durable Power of Attorney Sister-In-Law) helped out the most (taking her mother 1-2 nights/wk.), my youngest SIL helped once a week with showers (here), my oldest SIL & BIL helped out on Sat. evenings (taking her over there for about 4-5 hrs. and sometimes made a container that would last for at least 2 meals. My middle SIL helped out the 1st 3 months--then MIL went into hospital. It looked like she was going to stay in NH--and then she got better where she could function on her own--so my husband & I talked it over and took her back in the house. My middle SIL was elated that we would do it again--but only helped out once in a GREAT while. I had had enough--I called middle SIL and asked her to come over and give me a break--she gave me an excuse. I, then, asked her to come over and give her brother a break--long silence. I told her to think about it and get back to me. She never did. We used to go places together and I decided then that I wouldn't go anyplace with her again. The only place I would see her was at family get-togethers (Thanksgiving and Christmas). At first, I didn't speak to her unless she approached me, but this past Christmas, I spoke to her (short conversation). We had to put MIL in Nursing Home a little over 2 1/2 yrs. ago, b/c she was a fall risk and she fell on me and my knee got out of whack. I started working up at the Adult Day Care Center a yr. and 2 months ago. I really like the members! Take care, lach61
I hope you all have a wonderful week. Keep your chin (I started to say chins, but I've reached the age where that does not sound so good) up, a smile on your face and bless you all. I'll see you back here later.