he did pass in a nursing from heart attack i just pray that he didn't suffer pain when he's heart stopped beating or do the nurses would have had him on morphine people have told me he would not have felt any pain of the heart stopping but i think he must have felt something
There's an organisation called GriefLine (nothing like telling it like it is!) which seems to be based in Melbourne, but you can find them at griefline.org.au (if the moderators here will allow me to use a web link). They provide a confidential telephone service, and, importantly, they mention carer support as one of their specialisations. Why not give them a try? It can't hurt.
I wouldn't want you to think that I don't agree that it's important to know as much as anyone can tell you about your father's passing. It is important, I do understand how the question could eat away at you. What concerns me is that you also have many other more practical issues going on right now, and being fixated on that one, ultimately unanswerable, question is not going to help you move ahead. I wish you lots of luck and hope you find support very soon. Please let us know how you get on. Hugs.