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I have been trying hard to get along with my sister and niece. I now wish I would not have agreed to give my niece my mothers car but at the time she had just adopted 2 children and was in need of good transportation. The only stipulation I put on her taking the car was that when I took Mom home the car had to be back at her house and stay as long as my mother was there. Of course now we have a trip planned in September and she is refusing to bring the car back. it is only an 8 hour drive but she claims that she can't because she is starting a new job and my sister is in the same position. I live in Texas so to me an 8 hour drive is not a big deal. My mom will be so upset and mad if she finds out that my niece has that car, I discussed this with several people because I did not feel good about this but I was told the longer it sat that the car would begin to rot so I agreed to let her have the car. I was told by my sister that I have 2 choices, I can either tell my mom that the car is in the shop or I can cancel my trip. This made me so mad, with that comment I became very upset, I ask my sister what else do you want me to do for your guys, you won't help in any way and now this, I have never gone back on my word about anything to them. I refuse to cancel this trip, it has been planned for a year and we have a lot of friends and family coming. Mom is so excited to go home that is all that she talks about. My sister acts like its no big deal however she is once again not going to have to deal with any of this. any suggestions on how to handle this, I told her that if my mom went home and realized her car was gone and said bring it back they will have to return the car My sister told me that its not my moms car anymore that it belongs to my niece, this is not right at all. Can she do that? She signed the title over to my niece I refused even though I told her that she could but with all this going on if my Mom tells her to bring it back that its her car does she have the right to say NO? From my past posts you know that I stay home with Mom all the time with no help from my sister not even a vacation and now she has the nerve to tell me that I should cancel my trip to take my mom home to the farm how uncaring that is of her, that is what my mother looks forward to I try to take her home every year and to say that to cover up a car being gone I think that is about as low as you can get.

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OH I feel so bad for you and your mother, is there anyway you can take her to court in the best interest of your mom? One of the first things my sister said to me was we need to sell the farm, I told her that it will not happen, at least I have 50/50 POA and if Mom would have know I doubt that she would even have 50. Parents do not think of these things happening. I have no idea how to help you but really wish that I could. It disturbs me to here all these stories and actually be one myself, I hope you have a support group in your family somewhere. Moms farm and home is now wrapped up in a family trust, funny my sister brought it up again, she was mad about something and knows that farm has meant everything to my whole family for about 100 years now, one of her first comments again was well the farm will have to be sold, I got a good chuckle on this one, I know the money is so important to her, she was quite surprised when I informed her that the way the trust was set up the farms would be the last thing to go if need be, Mom has a large retirement account and it was not put in the trust but the sound of her voice was priceless!!!! Good luck my friend, going through what I have I will sure pray for you and your mom.
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Yes, Aveeno she is that vindictive! She knows mom always wanted to remain in her home. Has now spent mom's money trying to avoid payment to me for caring for mom. To pay the bills she needs to sell the home. Would even think about renting or taking out a home equity line of credit. And my mom had a long term care policy purchased when mom saw how much nursing home was costing her mom. POA sis let the thing lapse, she did not recognize that this was the time when mom was starting down the road to dementia.
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OH WOW, is there anything that you can do?? that is just terrible. Well I had requested that Mom and Dad had a third party to do this but they refused and said that they wanted me to do it, its just strange that when my sister got the paperwork it was still on there that we had to do it 50/50. I find myself in the same situation, well she is not spending the money but we have to agree 50/50 on any purchase, I'm quizzed if I buy Mom clothes or anything. We took her on vacation and paid for just about everything I think the whole trip she may have spend 200.00 but I was even quizzed on that. Just because mom has Alzheimer's it does not mean she is not a living breathing person that needs things to live and I'm not in the position to purchase everything. My sister went as far as suggesting that I needed to pay for part of Mom's caregiver because she did small jobs around the house instead of just sitting there. My family brought up selling Mom's house and I lost it on them. The farm has been in the family for almost 100 years, she was born in the upstairs bedroom of the farm house. they have NO right to sell anything as far as I'm concerned. If the day comes that Mom needs that money for care than I will agree but right now I can't even believe they would suggest it, that is when I put my foot down. I take Mom home as often as I can, its about an 18 hours drive but it means everything to her, we are actually going in September and that is all she talks about. I am very fortunate that its now tied up in Mom's trust so unless she needs the money it will remain. I feel like there are certain things in peoples lives that you just don't mess with and a persons home unless there is no choice is one of them. gladimhere I sure hope that you can find some way to protect the family home. Is there anyway that you can get your mom out of the home? I feel so bad for you that is just awful. Maybe some people need to be in a home but I don't understand if you have someone that is willing to move in and take care of them why would you do that to your parent, unless it has to be done for medical reasons, is the POA so vindictive that they would do this??? I'm so sorry.
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Aveeno, I wish my Mom had a third party to oversee her assets! Sib POA is very vindictive and has cost my mom over 120k in the past two years because she refuses to conduct my mom's affairs as my mom would do. Why? Because it will cost her in the form of her inheritance. HA! She is spending it all and bow has to sell mom's home of 50 years to pay the bills. And my mom wanted to remain in her home. And mom was very well taken care of by me for the past four years. POA has now moved mom to a facility only because she is so angry with me!
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No, I'm not. Funny though you would ask that. My parents did not like my sisters choice of husbands, they told me for years that they had changed the will and made me the executor. when mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's we hired attorneys to put her assets in a trust account for her. I had always ask my parents not to make me the executor because I knew that I would have major problems from my sister and her husband. I ask that they put a natural party as the executor, I felt that if something happened to them I would be distraught and unable to carry out the job. The stood firm and said NO that is the way it has to be and hold your ground and DO NOT LET them bully you. Well the lawyer conferenced me in with my sister and her husband and the question came up did we know who the executor was, I hesitated and said yes I'm suppose to be. the following weekend they drove to Virginia to get the paperwork out of the safe, I live in Texas. My sister called and faxed a copy of the will to me that said it was 50/50. I have no idea if this is an old will or what happened. she was very mad at me for saying that but honestly I was told that for years even though I did not want the job. The funny thing, its only an 8 hour drive for my family to go to Virginia but I have never been able to get them to go for any other reason but they sure did quickly make that trip. I can't imagine that my parents would lie to me its not there style and especially when they saw how uncomfortable it made me. I did think well maybe they knew I did not want to do that BUT, they would have told me. Mystery??? My Husband is a very kind man and he even told me last week that he had NEVER seen anything like this and heaven forbid the day that something does happen to my mother we are going to have a lot of problems.
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Tx has an excellent idea! Hopefully you are executor and I certainly would count it at the full blue book value at the time you let them use it.
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Are you by any chance the executor of your mother's estate? If so, I guess you could consider the car an advance on your sister's inheritance.
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Sendme2help, I have told Mom the truth but I believe I will have to tell her over and over, I'm not sure if its the right thing to do at this point, she will think of it and then let it go, she becomes very upset when she thinks about it and I do not think its healthy so I try to just let it go. I became so upset over the whole situation that my BP sky rocketed to 207/102, I now have it under control with doctors care. Again my family did not believe anything that I said until my husband called and told them to stop. I have decided anything that I see that upsets mom or me at this point I just make it stop. I have told them to put the car back but they refuse so I have told them that they no longer have my permission. Mom will never be able to drive again and her car is 1200 miles away short of taking them to court I'm backed into a corner on this one. I have learned my lesson and will never agree to allow them to take anything again. I truly hate that this has happened and that I allowed it but I have told Mom everything and if they continue its on them. I feel like I'm copping out but I have to worry about my health and my mothers so if they feel like that car is worth all of this I just have to feel pity for them that they would put a vehicle in front of their family.
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I sincerely hope the car situation is being resolved, and that you are okay.
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I have been advised in the past 1) not to leave a paper trail wherever I go
2) Never admit to error in writing (or in an e-mail.)
In the case of your sister, (out to get to you, make you look bad).
Gee, this sound so mysterious, doesn't it? It is not, not really.
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I sent an email admitting that I was wrong in allowing this and requested that the car be put back, its not worth the questions and worrie its placed on my mom. She refused and I told her that if that is the case I would not lie to my mom but would respond by saying that is what they told me. She is very pissed and said we decided and you can't change your mind now. I exained it was a poor decision on my part and with mom saying put the car back i would honor her word.
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I agree with glad. Send a certif. letter!!

They are thiefs and should be treated like so...
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Notify your sister and neice by email and certified mail that they have until a specific date to return the car, with title, or you will contact the authorities to report forgery, elder financial abuse, anything else anybody can think of. In the email and certified mail state the agreement was for neice to have use of car until notified or whatever you told her.
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In my state, a car title cannot be transferred without the person, that is signing the title present, to have the signature notarized.

What type of car are we talking about? I wonder if the niece even has it, anymore?
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You could, depending on your mother's state of dementia vs. wellness, tell your mother the truth, now, not waiting for her to discover the entire family conspiracy to take her car and keep it. Have a recorder ready, record your mother's take on this, then, you might have to medicate her? Then, record the next day when and if she talks about it.
You have said you didn't think this out, the ramifications of your giving permission? What about when mother asks sister and neice, and they just say you gave permission? Then, you will be left to explain, looking very bad.
Who is the "we" entity that has the POA?
This is meant to be supportive, but you have to start thinkibg things through.
What about sharing this with your husband?
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Do you have a key, repo-sister?
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Stop trying to get along with sister and neice, placing that relationship above fiduciary responsibilities for mom. What I mean is, don't be so fearful of making others mad at you, step up. While everyone is left scratching their heads about what has happened, someone has to take action.
Isn't this car theft?
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Check with the DMV. Maybe they have a form to report "cloud of title", or some way to prevent transfer of title from taking place, especially if it is not registered or insured.
This scenario is not as unbelievable or uncommon as you may think. It happened in our neighborhood a few years ago. What I thought was "unbelievable" was the neice, yes it was also a niece! ended up with the car because no one took action immediately. I guess if there is "permission", the police cannot act.
There are, however, companies that can repossess vehicles, you will need registration, at the least. Will mom be present?
Call the repo-man, it may be easier than you know.
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You might want to check with the local police about the apparent title forgery, which I believe would be a criminal offense.
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A POA does not automatically give you or your sister that authority; especially without your mom's permission. If your sister forged your mom's name to the Title/Pink Slip - she could face criminal charges.

Your sister needs to return the car and sign it back over to your mom immediately. If the registration was not changed - your mom could still be financially responsible for the vehicle. In California, when you transfer Title, who must also file a "Release of Liability" form within 30 days of transfer.
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No my mother did not sign the title over, I'm guessing my sister signed my moms name on the title, that is what I was saying I had not even though about that. She called and wanted to send the title to me to sign and I said I will not so I guess she forged my mom's signature. WOW I told her she could not drive it in my mom's name and the tags were expired and insurance was shut down because the doctor told mom she was not allowed to drive anymore. Just had not even crossed my mind about the rest, well we do have POA so I guess she really did not forge her signature.
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If mom signed the title over to her niece, her niece owns the car. Period. If YOU allowed the niece to BORROW your mom's cat, you made a big mistake. Is it insured? Does your niece have it properly registered and plated? If you just LENT her the car and she has a serious accident? Your mom could Lise everything she had. Big mistake.

At any rate, if you posted correctly, mom signed the title over. Take mom car shopping. She doesn't own a car anymore. (Maybe you can rent one for your trip.)
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My sister wanted me to sign the car over to my niece but I told her know I would not do that so she did. I never even though about that I guess she did have to sign my moms name. Oh wow no wonder she is freaking out on me wanting me to cancel my trip. I had just got married when they approached me, of course my mind was somewhere else, It was just a few weeks after the wedding, I'm the type that would let it set and rot which is stupid on my part but very sentimental, when I lost my dad my mom ask me to go start his truck and just drive it to make sure the battery did not go down and I had to refuse I could not even do that so I guess I never really thought about the paperwork. I did find it funny that she had the tidal she lives 1200 miles away from me but wanted to mail it to me to sign, I said WHY WOULD you do that, now I'm understanding.
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When you state that you 'gave your niece the car' - do you mean you signed over the Pink Slip to her, or are you meaning that you 'gave her the car' to use so it could be of some use to someone? I won't get into the insurance and liability questions.

I don't see how you could have transferred ownership of your mom's vehicle without her signature. If you want/need the car back - tell them (preferably in writing) that you expect the car returned by (set a date). After that date - the car will be reported stolen.
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