As per Barb's suggestion, I spoke with the facility and asked what medication they were considering and after speaking with her doctors. I offered the compromise to try only AD, and they do not work or she has adverse side effects they drop it that. Also mentioned any bouts of aggression that could possibly be linked to medication cannot be used as a means to send her to the ER and refuse to take her back on the grounds her medical condition has changed, and they can no longer care for her.
I spoke with my mother's care manager for her insurance and she told me the facility is in a rough spot because every behavior they have listed is not a new one and was listed on the assessment and they agreed to take her despite everything being documented. I also have a lawyer that has been going to the meetings.
I am still looking for another place, we are also looking into a wavier program to cover 24/7 aid at home. We will have to figure out the housing situation since she has no income coming in (don't work off the books if you can avoid it).
Thank you for the advice it has helped me greatly.
I hope that things work out for your family
By the way, sometimes AD can make an elderly person more likely to fall (muscles get too relaxed) (more accidents, more ER)…zombie-like…sleep too much…
Your mom verbally abuses the staff, and not the other people in the facility. She might be doing it on purpose, hoping you’ll take her out of the facility.