I am the only child with two elderly parents (ages 90 and 96) who are living in their own apartment. I would like advice on where to start. Money is an issue. My husband and I have just begun (last year) to get out from under debt to begin saving for our own retirement (we are 68 and 67). We currently contribute $500 a month to my parents and pay for an emergency system (they can hit a button to connect to assistance). We live about 29 miles away and see them between 2 and 3 days a week for 3 - 4 hours. My father has trouble with his hand and walking though he uses a walker and my mother's left arm will never heal properly since she broke it. I have asthma and bronchitis which makes physical work a non entity. I shop for them, do bills and taken them to doctor's, car repair etc. Meals are a problem. My father does most of it. If I am there I prepare lunch typically.
Thank you
How large is their apartment? If possible, could they downsize and maybe go into a subsidized senior housing?
As for meals, see if they would use "Meals on Wheels".
My parents are also in their 90's, and I had to cut back on the number of times I took them to the same doctor. For groceries, see if your area offers on-line grocery shopping with home delivery by the store, it is well worth the cost. And for anything else they need, so many stores have on-line shopping/home delivery. Cut back your visits to only once a week.
Wouldn't it be nice to get back to being their "daughter/son" instead of being an "errand boy", then you could spend more quality time instead of zipping in and out the door. The only way of doing that is for them to realize they need more help and not by you, but that won't happen if you keep helping them.
Call adult protective services and tell them you will not do this any longer. And also tell folks you won't continue to help them in this way. They both need to be in a facility with friends and someone to watch over them.