For me, it's getting my husband out of his wheelchair and onto the commode and he doesn't do anything until I get his Depends and pants back on; and then I have to take everything off and start over. I know he can't help it but it is so frustrating especially when it is "number 2". And I know it's going to get worse with time. Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode. And the thing is, I have to keep reminding myself that things could be worse. I read a lot of the postings on this forum and feel so bad for all of us caregivers. But it's good to know we're not alone. Thanks for letting me vent.
Have you called Council on Aging in your area? They may be able to help you.
Please consider accepting help from Council on Aging or hiring help if your husband is going to be staying at home. Have you considered placing him in a facility nearby?
Not only do I have to deal with the grief, but also the abuse from her and the family in their deafening silence.