When life gives you lemons and you can't get the energy to make lemonade.

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When life gives you lemons and you can't get the energy to make lemonade.

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I know there are many of us with worst predicaments but right now I am incredibly down about surgery in a few days for osteomylitis in my jaw. It isn't known how much will need to be done until the surgeon opens up the area having to go into my jaw through my neck. This has been a very difficult year for my husband and I medically. He has prostrate cancer and will have it removed in January as it is spread throughout the prostrate. He also got a bone infection in his leg and was hospitalized for several days this summer and has been left with a venous insufficiency. There have been other related issues. I have bad shoulder injuries from getting our house ready for sale. It is very hard to see any light through this tunnel. Thought I would start this thread for those who deal with an aging parent who almost seems more healthy than we are presently which make us worried about our state of health also knowing a parent is aging and how everything will play out. If anyone wants to share their predicaments I am sure it could help us to have this outlet.

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C cwillie Sep 2019 · Answer 1 · 2019-09-28T09:24:16.000-0400

This is why they say aging isn't for sissies.
((((hugs))))

M Midkid58 Sep 2019 · Answer 2 · 2019-09-28T13:32:00.000-0400

I think that lemonade saying is one of the dumbest things ever said. If you are upset and tired and sick and frustrated and DONE...WTH would you want to make lemonade out of that? Lemonade, BTW is bitter and sour...so maybe that saying is true!

Make hot chocolate!!

When I am really overwhelmed I make a list as long and as ornery and I want and as mean and hateful as I feel. Then I either burn it or keep it for a while. But it does get destroyed when I no longer have all those negative feels. It's not healthy to 'stuff' the anger and pain inside.

One thing for sure, nothing stays the same forever.

You hang tough, Waiting on the DX is worse than anything. I can handle anything if I KNOW. the "not knowing" is the worst. Hopefully you can get your jaw fixed and healed and back to better health.

Another saying I hate "This too shall pass". Of COURSE it will--and something more yucky may come down the pike. I guess the only saying that doesn't make ne nuts is "It is what it is" because, well, it is what it is.

I will add you to my prayers. Those I believe in, I hope you get answers to your jaw issues and they are not awful. That you will have strength to go through it all.

{{HUGS}}

R Riverdale Sep 2019 · Answer 3 · 2019-09-28T17:34:02.000-0400

Thanks Mid. I have had you in my mind often these days. You have shown great strength with your cancer treatments. The fact that you can often add humor to posts amongst all you have going on is a real tribute to your character.

Oddly enough I believe the first time I heard the lemonade quote was from a 9/11 widow. I lived in NY then so everything felt very raw for a long time. Several people from my town were victims and it seemed as though everyone had a story closely related.to someone.

I'm just watching some serious TV to get my mind off my plight. I appreciate your post. Hope your MIL situation finds some solution without any more stress to you.

L Llamalover47 Oct 2019 · Answer 4 · 2019-10-03T00:07:08.000-0400

Regarding your husband with Venous Insufficiency, aka Venous Reflux Disease, what has his vein doctor said? Has he had any needle sticks done - called Guided Foam Sclerotherapy? Has he seen a vascular doctor? I ask this as I, too, had been dx'd with Venous Insufficiency. Last year I had to have a stent placed in my left iliac vein and I have to take 630 mg of Vasculera. Actually supposed to take 1,260 mg daily, but I cut back on my own and am fine with that.
This, of course, is not the magic answer that you're looking for, but that is my firsthand account.

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 5 · 2019-10-03T01:46:30.000-0400

Thanks Llama. He wears special support hose. His right leg which is not the leg that was traumatized has become swollen. He is having his medications adjusted. I will ask those other questions. I am still in the hospital after having my jaw operated on yesterday for a fracture due to osteomylitis. Just had a PIC line installed today. We feel like the walking dead. Also waiting for infectious diseases to culture additional bacteria.

B BarbBrooklyn Oct 2019 · Answer 6 · 2019-10-03T03:44:22.000-0400

(((((Riverdale))))))) hugs! Heal well.

R Rbuser1 Oct 2019 · Answer 7 · 2019-10-04T20:55:32.000-0400

hugs, prayers, positive thoughts all sent your way...hoping you have a good recovery and your hubs as well.

W worriedinCali Oct 2019 · Answer 8 · 2019-10-04T21:05:22.000-0400

Sending you healing & positive thoughts Riverdale. Get well soon!

A AlvaDeer Oct 2019 · Answer 9 · 2019-10-04T21:12:46.000-0400

Oh, Riverdale!
I am so sorry. How in the world did the osteomyelitis start? Was it tooth? I will spare you the old nurse stories about the tents with the maggots in it to eat away bone infection in the old war wounds; they actually did great work on osteomye! I hope that this surgery goes well for you. It is serious indeed.
Then the hubby in line, too, and that hardly seems fair. At one point my partner and I were saying, after too many visitations of the hospitalization fairies, "just as long as we can keep these hospitalizations one at a time, and not both at the SAME time, then the dog can be fed" (and she has since passed on recently; one way to remove a worry off the plate).
We are somehow weirdly at our BEST when one of us is sick. We tell the other jokes instead of arguing over the price of ground turkey. I hope the same is for you both.
For me it is my bro who has gone down first and sent me to the forum fast. We are close in age, and yes, that worries us BOTH as we are what we have. He is 85 and I am 77. And he worries as I carry on per his requests with his trust that I will go down, and then what. And I worry that worrying about him and about learning new things I never thought I would have to do might just take me down. then what for HIM. So yeah. Worry all around all the time.
It quite amazes me on the forum the people who respond and who we slowly come to know, the care they have given, the things they have suffered, the things they deal with in their lives,the knowledge and caring they share.
It is a hidden world I think does both make me concerned how little support there is for us in crisis in this country, but how amazing we are/can be in crisis. So it restores my faith at the same time it worries and pains me.
I can't wish you more luck in all this world. You and your hubby be here for one another, to cheer one another on. Tell one another bad jokes. Thanks so much for sharing here; I seldom read down into discussions. This so touched my soul. My thoughts are with you. I hope you will update us.

L lealonnie1 Oct 2019 · Answer 10 · 2019-10-04T21:24:05.000-0400

Good Lord, I often look at my 92 y/o mother and think she's in better shape than I or my husband is in! I mean, not really, but she IS in certain ways. Never had cancer (which DH may be facing right now), never had a joint replaced (which I had), and the list goes on. It's crazy!

Anyway, wishing you all the best of luck with your upcoming surgery. There IS a light at the end of this tunnel and I hope you catch a glimpse of it very soon. Sending you a big hug & healing/positive vibes mixed in with some prayers for a speedy recovery.

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 11 · 2019-10-04T22:04:06.000-0400

Thanks all. Yes it was from a root canal. I wasn't given antibiotics at first and several days later I became very swollen. Then did go on 2 different antibiotics but dentist spent nearly a week trying to save tooth. Infection was slowly growing,tooth had to be extracted. More medications. It seemed to be better but then became swollen again. Now on the 4th set of specialists. Jaw bone had fractured. Surgery took out all dead bone and put in plates and screws and I am on a PICC line for 6 weeks.. I would have gladly lost the tooth not to get to this point. I have a long scar at the jaw. It's going to be a long slow revovery.

I Isthisrealyreal Oct 2019 · Answer 12 · 2019-10-05T01:15:51.000-0400

Riverdale, can I recommend that you find a doctor that will do infrared treatment on your incision sight. This keeps scar tissue from forming and causing future problems.

My neurological chiropractor does this treatment and I am beyond amazed at how much it helped me.

Praying for a comfortable healing time for you and a miracle for your husband.

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 13 · 2019-10-05T06:24:54.000-0400

Thanks. I will ask the doctors next week when I see them for first follow up. I am now with ones affiliated with the teaching hospital at the major city near me. I am through with all the previous ones going forward. Sometimes I feel strong and at times I find all this hard to believe.

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 14 · 2019-10-15T22:19:36.000-0400

I'm not trying to play the victim but at times it's really hard not to. Tomorrow I will most likely get my second post surgery on my jaw. I have been feeling very down and I can't stand to feel that way. I can't get the slightest motivation to doing much of anything. The swelling is going down but my mouth sinks on one side. The surgeon is hopeful in time it will improve. He actually described how he lifted the large nerve aside while cutting out dead bone and putting in a plate and screws. My husband has been very helpful administering the PICC daily. I have had blood drawn twice and the infection levels are lowering so I am grateful for that. I just have to get over this inner pity party with myself. I would love to be out exercising and not be living the life of an invalid. Sometimes I manage little goals and other times I just sit in bed. Fortunately my mother is presently doing fine.

I Isthisrealyreal Oct 2019 · Answer 15 · 2019-10-15T22:27:40.000-0400

You have a good reason to feel crummy. A bad infection takes it out of us. Be sure and rest, get some natural probiotics into your system, 2 hours either side of your antibiotics and have faith. It's still early days.

Hugs!

T Treeartist Oct 2019 · Answer 16 · 2019-10-15T22:49:35.000-0400

Riverdale,

I’m so sorry you have had this dental complication. I recently went through three weeks of intense dental pain after an extraction and bone graft for a future implant. I felt that I was living in an alternate reality during that time, so I forced myself to keep up with all the household routines that I usually do. That really seemed to help. Though my dental issue wasn’t nearly as intense and involved as yours, I feel for you, and will be praying for healing for you and your husband.

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 17 · 2019-10-15T23:30:43.000-0400

Thanks treeartist and reallyreal. I meant to say second Xray. I am along ways away from an additional procedure. It could be bone grafting to make jaw more secure and or bone grafting for future possible implants. At least it will get me out of the house which in turn give me some motivation to do something/anything. Any future procedure is about 6 months away. I accept that. Just hoping I get more movement back. I speak as though I have a lisp.

L Llamalover47 Oct 2019 · Answer 18 · 2019-10-16T22:34:10.000-0400

Riverdale: Oh, my gosh! You've really been through it. I am so sorry. I, too, wore one compression stocking for 12 hours UNTIL THEY MADE MY LEG WAY WORSE. My dr then says to me "Sometimes they make the condition way worse." Major hugs coming your way ((( ))).💞💞💞💞 Hope you feel better from the jaw surgery.

B BarbBrooklyn Oct 2019 · Answer 19 · 2019-10-17T00:45:02.000-0400

(((((Hugs))))))). Hoping the appointment goes well!

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 20 · 2019-10-17T16:42:15.000-0400

My husband wears the hose on alternate days now. As for my jaw the doctors are pleased but it makes me sad one side of my mouth droops inwards. They said to practice lots of mouth movements. They are hopeful it will get better in time as nerves were not severed. Also because of the PICC line I just don't feel like jumping back into much activity. We might go ride bikes together for the first time in many months. It will be a short ride but something at least. Thanks for good wishes.

L Llamalover47 Oct 2019 · Answer 21 · 2019-10-17T20:40:53.000-0400

Riverdale: Will pray for you. I don't wear the compression stocking AT ALL since my doctor said that sometimes they make the condition worse. I hope that your husband can benefit from them. And I hope that your jaw is improving at some point.

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 22 · 2019-10-18T12:18:59.000-0400

I really appreciate the replies here. At times I feel so depressed it's hard to get out of bed. I'm used to a routine of going to barre class.many days, doing errands reading, and it's so hard to motivate my self. I have to wait for my husband to wrap my arm for a shower due to the PICC line.

R Riverdale Oct 2019 · Answer 23 · 2019-10-31T23:13:39.000-0400

Saw the surgeon yesterday. He says he sees progress with my lip. I don't but then I see it every day. Will see him in a month. In 5 months they will decide how to further fix the jaw depending if there is bone growth. I still find it hard to absorb. On a funny note my mother gave me advice on starting back slowly to doing some exercise. This is from someone who is very immobile but the thought was there.

R Riverdale Nov 2019 · Answer 24 · 2019-11-19T19:46:15.000-0500

Today I learned any number of things could happen down the line including possible facial reanimation. In January they will do a scan to determine if bone has grown around the plate. I am basically about a year out from any form of normalcy. My mouth droops on the one side of all the infection and trauma. I am on antibiotics for at least 6 months as infection can form around a plate in the mouth. I may have PT but it is still to soon. Although I can move my mouth in all directions the nerves remain traumatized. My children will see me next week and next month. They probably won't tell me their true impressions. It is also annoying to eat certain foods because I inadvertently bite my lip and I can't feel food if it gets on my chin. I also speak with a lisp. Well that should be enough griping for awhile.

L Llamalover47 Nov 2019 · Answer 25 · 2019-11-20T20:24:00.000-0500

Riverdale: Wow. So sorry you had to endure all of this. Many prayers are sent your way by me.
Llamalover47

R Riverdale Nov 2019 · Answer 26 · 2019-11-22T05:42:21.000-0500

Thanks Llama. It is somewhat ironic that after selling our house in NY we are finally less stressed financially and then this had to happen with my jaw which has caused numerous additional expenses with more down the line
Fortunately it is now considered medical as opposed to dental. Although we have dental insurance the coverage there isn't great but now that it is medical alot is covered so that is helpful. It is just a long saga greatly due to the treatment I received from the endodontist which might have been unnecessary had he not spent so much time trying to save a tooth while there was such clear indication of massive infection which spread like wildfire.

L Llamalover47 Nov 2019 · Answer 27 · 2019-11-22T19:31:15.000-0500

Riverdale: Wow. So sorry and at least some of the expenses of it are now categorized as medical. I had double dental insurance until age 71 with two prior employers so all of my work THEN was fully covered until the company I worked for for over 30 years decided to opt of of retiree dental, but switched to a much lesser plan. Probably easily $300,000 covered in full.

R Riverdale Nov 2019 · Answer 28 · 2019-11-22T20:26:48.000-0500

What do you mean by the 300,000 figure? Is that what you owed?

L Llamalover47 Nov 2019 · Answer 29 · 2019-11-22T22:17:15.000-0500

Riverdale: As I said, $300,000 covered in full.

R Riverdale Nov 2019 · Answer 30 · 2019-11-23T02:45:17.000-0500

I guess that sounds pretty good as we have Delta Dental and while they pay for some treatments they also seem to have alot of limitations. Unfortunate as my situation is the fact that it has entered into the medical category is better. If it stayed within the dental guidelines we would be out of pocket much sooner. A variety of ongoing tests,fairly major surgery to remove the infection,six weeks on a PICC line,dealing with infectious disease doctors and tests,further possible treatment depending on how the plate is responding including possibly adding more bone taken from another part of my body,and then implants which I don't know if that will kick back to dental,scar revision which may not be covered at all. An ongoing true saga. Oh I forgot to add possible facial reanimation and PT to try to help the nerves in my face to improve including speech therapy. I shudder when I recently heard of others here discuss root canals and advised they be put on antibiotics right away as age is not in favor at over 60. This was also told to me by certain doctors within the team I am dealing with. I appreciate your communication to me about my situation.

When life gives you lemons and you can't get the energy to make lemonade.

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