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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I am kind of on the fence about assisted suicide. BUT, I also have a SIL who will "help me" if I get to the point that my life is unliveable.
He's kind of a saint to a lot of people already. I agree--we are keeping people alive by artificial means for waaaaaay too long.
My sweet daddy BEGGED me to overdose him on his pain meds. I just...couldn't. He lived another 18+ months in hell. I have such mixed feelings about what I did/didn't do.
And I would consider myself a VERY religious person.
If you had done as your father asked you, what then? How well do you think you'd be sleeping now? You wouldn't have known about those eighteen months of suffering to offset the guilt of it, don't forget.
If you'll forgive me, and making allowances for what he was going through, I don't think your father should have burdened you with that request and for that reason I don't think you can look on it as something you could in any circumstances have chosen to do for him. I'm no less sorry that he suffered, though.
It's the having to involve other people in our end of life choices that's the rub of the whole thing, isn't it.
CM-- I felt kind of privileged that daddy talked to me about this. He had already suffered for 15+ years with Parkinson's and he had just entered the bedbound stage. He tried to OD himself, twice, but couldn't coordinate his efforts long enough to get enough pills in him. Mother found him once and called me(!) even tho they LIVED with brother. I raced up there (midnight or so) and mother is freaking out--DH took her in another room and I sat with daddy and we both cried.
I KNEW it was only going to get much, much worse for him and I wish he had had the option to pull his own plug, so to speak.
I don't think I would have felt guilty. I know my daddy still lives. I know he loves me. I wish I had been strong enough to do what he asked.
My FIL was dying and his oncologist asked if we would allow him to give dad a dose of morphine to ease his breathing...family said "yes, please". Dr turns his back to us, shielding everyone but me from the view of the IV and proceeds to empty the biggest syringe into the IV that I have ever seen. He looked back and I smiled at him and mouthed "thank you".
FIL was gone in less than 10 minutes.
If I had had access to enough morphine....yes, I think I could have eased daddy's pain.
It IS the fact there are other people involved that makes this hard.
Frankly, I had nightmares from NOT helping him out. I felt much guiltier by allowing his painful life to go on and on--long past any sense of "happy" existed.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am kind of on the fence about assisted suicide. BUT, I also have a SIL who will "help me" if I get to the point that my life is unliveable.
He's kind of a saint to a lot of people already. I agree--we are keeping people alive by artificial means for waaaaaay too long.
My sweet daddy BEGGED me to overdose him on his pain meds. I just...couldn't. He lived another 18+ months in hell. I have such mixed feelings about what I did/didn't do.
And I would consider myself a VERY religious person.
If you had done as your father asked you, what then? How well do you think you'd be sleeping now? You wouldn't have known about those eighteen months of suffering to offset the guilt of it, don't forget.
If you'll forgive me, and making allowances for what he was going through, I don't think your father should have burdened you with that request and for that reason I don't think you can look on it as something you could in any circumstances have chosen to do for him. I'm no less sorry that he suffered, though.
It's the having to involve other people in our end of life choices that's the rub of the whole thing, isn't it.
I felt kind of privileged that daddy talked to me about this. He had already suffered for 15+ years with Parkinson's and he had just entered the bedbound stage. He tried to OD himself, twice, but couldn't coordinate his efforts long enough to get enough pills in him. Mother found him once and called me(!) even tho they LIVED with brother. I raced up there (midnight or so) and mother is freaking out--DH took her in another room and I sat with daddy and we both cried.
I KNEW it was only going to get much, much worse for him and I wish he had had the option to pull his own plug, so to speak.
I don't think I would have felt guilty. I know my daddy still lives. I know he loves me. I wish I had been strong enough to do what he asked.
My FIL was dying and his oncologist asked if we would allow him to give dad a dose of morphine to ease his breathing...family said "yes, please". Dr turns his back to us, shielding everyone but me from the view of the IV and proceeds to empty the biggest syringe into the IV that I have ever seen. He looked back and I smiled at him and mouthed "thank you".
FIL was gone in less than 10 minutes.
If I had had access to enough morphine....yes, I think I could have eased daddy's pain.
It IS the fact there are other people involved that makes this hard.
Frankly, I had nightmares from NOT helping him out. I felt much guiltier by allowing his painful life to go on and on--long past any sense of "happy" existed.