Brought mom home to live with me. I always promised mom I would take care of her if she needed me, but I sure never dreamed she would be bedridden with a colostomy, and a wound that. Still isn't healed after a 4 month hospital stay.when I brought her home she could walk to the living room chair with help, and use the bedside toilet, after one week and a trip to the ER, she now has a catheter, and no strength to stand. I just don't know if being here is what's best for her. We always said mom would come live with us someday, but I'm worried she won't improve. I only have one sister, who has younger kids, so not much help from her. Just hope this gets a little easier, :(
You wrote
I always promised mom I would take care of her if she needed me
Your role as caregiver and as daughter is to set the limits and boundaries on what you can do and to ensure Mum gets the best care that is available.
If that means putting her into care then you need to sit with her and have that talk - if she has capacity to understand, if not then it is you who has to make one of the hardest decisions; but think first on this....which would give you more guilt?
making sure she has the best care
or
keeping her at home and not being able to manage her care and having to face that decision later when you will bolt on feelings of failure just for good measure ...and don't think you won't because we have all done it at some time or other.
Your role now is to find the appropriate place and monitor that it is handling her care properly. She may never recover fully - we cannot know what lies ahead for any of us but knowing you acted in her best interests is what being a good caregiver is all about. Please please don't feel guilty that you cannot cope, be honoured that you have the acted with honesty and integrity in finding her the best care, and become the daughter again. xxx