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How are they managing their medications?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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I have had to learn a new language with my wife since her dementia includes aphasia. She ask me once if she should go the power. Translation of power was restroom. No could be yes. She has tried to eat soup with a fork or putting it in a glass and use a straw. Or she may eat her rice with a spatula. She has tried to go out with her bra on the outside of her blouse. She can dress herself but needs supervision on the proper order of clothing. And so many other things I have learned to deal with. Time for her is of no essence and changing the bed at four in the morning with me sleeping in it means nothing to her.
Give it time. Let her get used to you. Keep offering. It may be that genuinely she can't summon any interest in anything any more, or it may be that one day when she gets to know and trust you she'll try something you suggest.
You could also look round her home for clues. Ask tactful (!) questions, draw her into conversation.
Walking's good for her anyway, so even if she doesn't need to go to a particular store try to make up a reason. Or just smell the flowers on the way!
I'm new to care giving. My client is not interested in any suggestions of doing anything. Not music, not coloring, not puzzles, not TV. She does like to walk but we have been to every store near by. She doesn't engage what she does like. Its hard to help. What do I do?
Thanks to all of you who shared. Some of the tips I've been doing, but did find a few I wasn't. It is really nice knowing I'm not alone in this caregiver role. I'm glad I "stumbled" across this website and forum.
Just discovered great online resource for 'adaptive care' clothing. The Website is: buck and buck.com - here I found men's slacks with a Velcro fly as well as men's shirts with Velcro closures (they look like buttons down the front), very clever.
Thank you I found a lot of these will help today & some ill file away til needed. This is my support group,my hobby, my knowledge base & my source of laughter, thanks for being here
Mom2mom - thanks for your tip on bed sheets and pads. So simple, obvious- sometimes we get so close to the issues to really see clearly. We'll implement this right away!
When making the bed, layer pad/sheet/pad/sheet and so on so that middle of the night accidents can be cleaned up without entirely stripping and remaking the bed.
Put pads down on any piece of furniture that they may possibly sit on... and then expect them to sit on the one piece of furniture that you missed.
Would like to add a tip or two - dad just started wetting bed overnight. He's been wearing top & bottom type pjs which are not only time consuming to help him change after an accident but pants are hard to get down in emergency. We just bought him a man's night shirt to try - let's see how it goes.
Thanks for starting this thread moecam. Its much appreciated. I know we all have good intentions when we start our roles, but I would say don't be afraid to recognize when it gets to be too much. I wanted to be the hero, but sometimes it was too much. I needed to learn to ask for help and sooner.
My grandmother had trouble seeing her food or drink in front of her. I was able to find mugs with handles that had lids with built in permanent straws. The plastic-mug-with-handle-and-lid-with-straw allowed me to keep drinks in front of her all day knowing she could pick it up and sip anytime. The mugs were designed for summer drinks for kids, I found them at Target.
My mom has dementia and was having a hard time recognizing her toothpaste (even though it was right next to her toothbrush) so I switched from Sensodyne (it has a big cap similar to a lotion) to Arm & Hammer Sensitive (it has a regular, old style toothpaste cap). It seems to be easier for her to see it as toothpaste. (The old aluminum tubes would be nice to keep the toothpast at the top too...like the good old days.) Keep in mind that something that has been re-designed may look like something entirely different to an elderly person with dementia. Try to keep things as old school as possible...it makes more sense to them.
Sendhelp: Aww, thank you! The thing was that my mother didn't know many "cuss" words, God bless her. She still laughed along with us! So glad you were able to get that quickie (insert LOL) meal at KFC!
Still amazed at the many coincidences on the forum... Llama, it was just yesterday my hubs and I had Kenf###tied chicken....the first time in over 4 months, but we were in a big hurry. U R So funny! Please just ignore the new poster who unjustly criticized you. We've got your back. imo.
store all cleansers and dish liquids away from reach or with child proof latches or locks on cabinet door. (my mom poured herself a nice glass of orange dish liquid) They will not be able to tell toothpaste tube from denture cream/hemoroid cream tube. Will not be able to tell liquid soap from hand lotion. When they cannot deal with phone calls turn off the ringer. Go online and pay their bills and go paperless. Call all the magazines and charities to stop the paper billing. ( they were coercing her to think she had to go door to door for them!) You have heard it before, but soon they wont be able to talk or know who you are..... and all you will wish is to see a smile one last time...
Send: (I insert bow)...actually the joke was pretty goofy! One time years ago my late mother tried to say "Kentucky Fried Chicken." "Kenf#### Tied Chicken " came tumbling out of her mouth! We all laughed for days! Those were the good times!
By bringing something when you visit then your loved one will start to associate you with something positive - my mom loves TIMBITS - I limit her to 2 which I string out timewise - once or twice a month is as much as she gets [diabeteis] -
I change 'the treat' up often - if you take a plant make sure it doesn't need watering more often than you visit - cactus/succulants are best
No, Ali I really thought it was Pasta la vista.............:P Did I forget to tell you all that I am known for getting quotes, names of things, you name it......I say it wrong. For instance, once Mom and I were out, I was getting peckish, so we stopped for coffee. There is this pastry that I quite like called a copenhagen. I happily marched up to the counter and asked for a davenport. LOL............well, it has some of the same letters right?
Have an outside interest. A hobby that you can do even when you only have a few minutes at the end of your day. In other words...do not make car giving you entire existence
Be sure to read all the prior tips to avoid duplication.... ha ha ha, NOT!
My tip for today is: Caregiver, Stop for a minute to figure out why you are so angry, so over the top angry about what your loved one with a broken brain did. What exactly did they do wrong, and what were your expectations?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Thank you for all your kind help this year. I'm keeping these tips for my next go around.
She ask me once if she should go the power. Translation of power was restroom.
No could be yes. She has tried to eat soup with a fork or putting it in a glass and use a straw. Or she may eat her rice with a spatula. She has tried to go out with her bra on the outside of her blouse.
She can dress herself but needs supervision on the proper order of clothing.
And so many other things I have learned to deal with. Time for her is of no essence and changing the bed at four in the morning with me sleeping in it means nothing to her.
Keep walking! That is a good thing.
Can you stop at a coffeeshop for a cup of tea?
You could also look round her home for clues. Ask tactful (!) questions, draw her into conversation.
Walking's good for her anyway, so even if she doesn't need to go to a particular store try to make up a reason. Or just smell the flowers on the way!
Website is: buck and buck.com - here I found men's slacks with a Velcro fly as well as men's shirts with Velcro closures (they look like buttons down the front), very clever.
We'll implement this right away!
Put pads down on any piece of furniture that they may possibly sit on... and then expect them to sit on the one piece of furniture that you missed.
Llama, it was just yesterday my hubs and I had Kenf###tied chicken....the first time in over 4 months, but we were in a big hurry.
U R So funny!
Please just ignore the new poster who unjustly criticized you. We've got your back. imo.
They will not be able to tell toothpaste tube from denture cream/hemoroid cream tube. Will not be able to tell liquid soap from hand lotion.
When they cannot deal with phone calls turn off the ringer.
Go online and pay their bills and go paperless. Call all the magazines and charities to stop the paper billing.
( they were coercing her to think she had to go door to door for them!)
You have heard it before, but soon they wont be able to talk or know who you are..... and all you will wish is to see a smile one last time...
I change 'the treat' up often - if you take a plant make sure it doesn't need watering more often than you visit - cactus/succulants are best
Good night, all. Many Hugs.
If you're really clever you can put a fresh pull-up back on without removing their outer pants too
Ha ha ha ha, lol!
ha ha ha, NOT!
My tip for today is:
Caregiver, Stop for a minute to figure out why you are so angry, so over the top angry about what your loved one with a broken brain did. What exactly did they do wrong, and what were your expectations?