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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I agree that some more history would help so we're not trying to guess what her medical issues are.
People with Alzheimer's frequently accuse others of stealing from them when really they're hiding their belongings (so people won't steal them) and then can't find them.
I understand the situation. My Mom is 80. She has been diagnosed with delusion disorder but refuses to go back to the doctor or take meds. All physical causes of this has been ruled out. Such as UTI etc. She can function on her own. Pays her own bills etc. Everything is fine until a topic she has a false fixed belief comes up. At this point she is still living on her own and her neighbors tell me if they notice any thing unusual going on. She refuses AL or independent living at this time. Living with me is not an option because she believes my husband is mean to me. You just have to deal with the situation one day at a time.
The delusion that people are stealing things is very common in dementia. Does your mother have other signs of dementia? Has she been diagnosed?
Of course dementia isn't the only cause of delusions. I think a medical evaluation would be helpful as a starting point.
Generally, it is not productive to try to argue or reason someone out of a delusion, whatever the cause. Try to acknowledge their feelings and be reassuring. "Your lovely paisley scarf has gone missing? Oh, that is a shame -- I know it is one of your favorites. Just in case it got misplaced I'm going to help you look for it. If it doesn't show up within a week, lets go shopping online and try to find a similar scarf to buy."
My mom started telling us that people were coming into her house and stealing things. It all sounded fairly reasonable from a distance - she had a large dog door that a kid could get into and her yard backed up to a low-income apartment complex. Near the end of her living alone, she told me someone had stolen her keyboard. I said I thought it odd that someone would take the keyboard and not the computer. When we cleaned out the house, we found everything. BTW, she also managed to alienate all her neighbors with unfounded accusations about things they were doing to her. When my sister told them what was going on, they all said "that explains a lot." Now she is living with me, and she must feel very safe because she is no longer hiding things.
Thank you for your responses. My mother lives independently and you would never know there's anything wrong with her. She had a minor stroke a few years ago but doesn't seem to have any lasting issues. 14 years ago she accused her new husband of cheating and couldn't be dissuaded. In the past 2 years she has accused neighbors of stealing her paper, her sister turning people against her, her brother stealing a key and taking things from her house and is now accusing me. She couldn't find a book I made for her so assumed I stole it. She says I used a key and come in when she's sleeping even though she admits that to come 4 hours to steal toilet paper doesn't make sense. She has not been diagnosed with anything and I honestly don't know if she would be. With the exception of this delusional behavior, she seems perfectly sane. I do have to question why she is losing so many things. Dishes are missing, a picture, and she says that they seem to have disappeared after I've visited so it must be me. I don't know if I should stay away from her but it's heart breaking for me as well as for her to think that about me.
I would take her to a geriatric psychiatrist. He can do Alzheimer's testing on her. I found a place not to far from me that does that. They were very thorough. Think how awful it must be for her to be living in a world where everyone steals from her. People with dementia will hide things and then forget where they put them. I watched my mother in action one night when she just wandered around opening drawers. One time we found her hearing aid in the dryer very carefully placed on one of the fins. I found her wallet behind books on the bookcase. I could go on....
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Otherwise, a bit more about her history would help. Is she living independently?
People with Alzheimer's frequently accuse others of stealing from them when really they're hiding their belongings (so people won't steal them) and then can't find them.
Of course dementia isn't the only cause of delusions. I think a medical evaluation would be helpful as a starting point.
Generally, it is not productive to try to argue or reason someone out of a delusion, whatever the cause. Try to acknowledge their feelings and be reassuring. "Your lovely paisley scarf has gone missing? Oh, that is a shame -- I know it is one of your favorites. Just in case it got misplaced I'm going to help you look for it. If it doesn't show up within a week, lets go shopping online and try to find a similar scarf to buy."