Mom is depressed, grieving dad passed 2 yrs ago, hates being alone, is a fall risk, crys poor me poor me etc. Doesn't understand why she's in AL that it relieves me of asst. w/ showers, meds, and other medical issues. I do visit 2 to 3 times a week handle the bills, mail, pick up meds and deliver them, take her to dr appts I'm just burnt her calls makes me feel so sorry for her but I can't be there 24/7 just needed to vent
You are now allowing yourself to be your moms everything. That's not fair to you, nor is it feasible. Only you can make the necessary changes to change things. Hopefully with you being less available, mom will start leaving her room and interact with the nice folks at her facility, and won't be so lonely. But as long as you're always at her beck and call, she will never change, nor will she feel the need to.
Having someone walk her to an activity might be a way to start. Her brain may not be able to GET HER to an activity, even when invited.