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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If you can take your grocery expenses before & after as that would cover food, laundry detergent, toiletries etc - but many don't keep track otherwise I would take number of people in the house including him & divide by that into grocery costs then add a fixed small amount for the room - this way the amount will vary & not be an even number which a gift would be - write this up as an agreement with him & have him sign it - if possible have him write the checks for his dignety
Shift to a separate credit card for groceries etc - he won't eat as much food but he will consume extra hygene products - if he is having the beer too included it but if not then pay that separately - you will have the paper trail if needed
I use 1 card for groceries, another for gas, another for miscellanious items [clothes etc] so I can see where the money is going - this a cheap way to do bookkeeping because the card company does it for you
See an eldercare attorney, you don't want to run afoul of Medicaid. Hopefully your father has some money, assets, savings. You will have to use that for his needs - do NOT use your own savings, you will need every penny of your own for your own future needs!....All those things add up: food, linens, toiletries, bales of Depends, denture cream, OTC medications, any hired help. Contact an eldercare attorney and explain your situation, there is no one answer for everyone.
What did your father charge you when he took you to doctor appointments, administered your vitamins, bought your food, put a roof over your head? You need to consult an elder lawyer to determine whether his income can be tapped to cover some expenses, if meeting his needs is a hardship for you. Wow, 93! Lucky you. I so wish my parents had lived that long. My mom lived with us until nearly 90 and we were grateful to "pay it forward" for her. She used her not-so-big income for her toiletries/supplies and foods she liked but we didn't. Any income left over went into a burial trust (her idea), which really helped when the time came.
I think everyone's situation is different. Depends on any legal agreements and power of attorny etc. Some parents living in the home., others have renovated spaces etc. Of course you want to conserve your parent's money and not take advantage of them- however, when one is doing 24/7 care for a parent who needs non stop care, consider the money you are saving them -In reality compare costs of a home or facility that would be charging probably anywhere between 3 thousand and 12 thousand a month- now, take a lot at these adult children who have sacrificed their careers, their relationships and their time to provide care for an aging parent who does not want to move.. The sitter who comes to provide a few hours to our home charges 20 dollars an hour to take care of mother. At first, we charged nothing for mother to live with us- now, 6 years later, it is costing us. Maybe started as a little food here and there., now it is non stop care, medication oversight, bathing, laundry, meals, shopping, errands, paper work, jumping up in the middle of the night to help in the bathroom etc. etc. Most people here know the drill. I consulted our attorney for the same answers you are looking for. If you really think about it, the caregiver can be the one ending up on the bad end of the stick so to say. Risking health, poverty and all else to ensure the health and safety of an elderly parent. There is nothing wrong with getting paid if they can afford to pay you. Check with lawyer.
No matter what you charge, you should have a Caregiver/Resident Agreement to cover yourself, should your father need to apply for Medicaid. Usually, where he IS your father - you should only charge for a portion of the utilities and maybe increase in the food bill - but how much can a 93 year old eat. Medicaid usually does not look favorably on family members getting paid to take care of a parent - especially if the fees are excessive. Also . . . any income that you receive for rent and caregiver wages needs to be claimed as income on your personal tax returns. Lastly, you will want to remember to conserve as much of your father's money as possible in case he should need some funds to get "in the door" of a decent skilled nursing facility - should he need one.
I took care of my mom and I learned the hard way. So here is my advice from personal experience. Absolutely consult an elder attorney. You are entitled to receive rent. I will admit it felt awkward at first, but after 3 1/2 years of not getting mom's money for her care out of the POA, it had to be. It was the POA, that forced my hand to move mom on to Medicaid so I could bring in outside help. It was thru that process that the elder Care attorney Drew up a rental agreement so I could have easier access to mom's money. With that rent I covered all mom's expenses. That was the recommendation of our attorney. That way I didn't have to keep and submit receipts and have the stress if dealing with the POA. By the way the POA was my younger sister :(. Anyway, I should have done that from the beginning. But you don't know what you don't know, right? Live and learn. Good luck. Your willingness to take on the care is admirable. You will not regret it. I didn't.
Definitely charge for board. If he can afford it, charge for room, too. These should be at close to the market rate. You may want to charge for caregiving as well.
If these amounts go to you regularly it may appear to Medicaid (or relatives) that Dad is giving you gifts, and that can cause trouble with a Medicaid application and resentment within families. To avoid this, have written agreements in place. An Elder Law attorney can help set things up so they are entirely legal and appropriate in the eyes of Medicaid. Such an attorney can also see that other legal documents (such as power of attorney) are in place.
When our mother lived with my sister, my sister charged her the same amount she had been paying in subsidized housing. Obviously she could afford that -- she'd been paying it for years. Mom was on Medicaid at that point, and my sister also accepted the small amount Medicaid would pay for caregiving. All of this was not adequate compensation for the work involved, but it helped offset some of the costs and it also helped my sister feel that her efforts were being acknowledged and taken seriously.
In my opinion, all elders should be given the dignity of paying their own way to the extent feasible. Absolutely all of them should contribute SOMETHING, even if it doesn't come close to covering their expenses. And Medicaid certainly acknowledges that elders need to pay their own way. You just need to be sure it looks like a payment and not a gift.
Now, at the beginning of this new relationship, would be a good time to consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law. Be sure you have things set up correctly from the start.
Legally charge? Morally charge? OR are you concerned that he may require Medicaid (for indigent folks) and you want to be sure not to interfere with his approval?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Shift to a separate credit card for groceries etc - he won't eat as much food but he will consume extra hygene products - if he is having the beer too included it but if not then pay that separately - you will have the paper trail if needed
I use 1 card for groceries, another for gas, another for miscellanious items [clothes etc] so I can see where the money is going - this a cheap way to do bookkeeping because the card company does it for you
It was the POA, that forced my hand to move mom on to Medicaid so I could bring in outside help. It was thru that process that the elder Care attorney Drew up a rental agreement so I could have easier access to mom's money. With that rent I covered all mom's expenses. That was the recommendation of our attorney. That way I didn't have to keep and submit receipts and have the stress if dealing with the POA. By the way the POA was my younger sister :(.
Anyway, I should have done that from the beginning. But you don't know what you don't know, right? Live and learn. Good luck. Your willingness to take on the care is admirable. You will not regret it. I didn't.
If these amounts go to you regularly it may appear to Medicaid (or relatives) that Dad is giving you gifts, and that can cause trouble with a Medicaid application and resentment within families. To avoid this, have written agreements in place. An Elder Law attorney can help set things up so they are entirely legal and appropriate in the eyes of Medicaid. Such an attorney can also see that other legal documents (such as power of attorney) are in place.
When our mother lived with my sister, my sister charged her the same amount she had been paying in subsidized housing. Obviously she could afford that -- she'd been paying it for years. Mom was on Medicaid at that point, and my sister also accepted the small amount Medicaid would pay for caregiving. All of this was not adequate compensation for the work involved, but it helped offset some of the costs and it also helped my sister feel that her efforts were being acknowledged and taken seriously.
In my opinion, all elders should be given the dignity of paying their own way to the extent feasible. Absolutely all of them should contribute SOMETHING, even if it doesn't come close to covering their expenses. And Medicaid certainly acknowledges that elders need to pay their own way. You just need to be sure it looks like a payment and not a gift.
Now, at the beginning of this new relationship, would be a good time to consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law. Be sure you have things set up correctly from the start.