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My mom called crying today. Said the night nurse got upset with her because she asked for her pain medicine. Then grabbed my mom's wrist and threw the medicine cup at her. I am waiting for the director of nursing to call me. My mom said she filed a report and they told her the nurse will not get away with that. What do I need to do next??

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Taj, I went back and read some of your other posts. Your mom seems to be somewhat dramatic at times.

I would seek to ascertain what transpired.
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Abuse allegation update
The facility my mom is at for rehab has an open investigation and the police are involved. She is completely alert and oriented and I am glad they are taking this seriously. My mom had an appointment with her surgeon and he advised that anytime abuse happens to have the family member leave AMA and take her to the ED for evaluation and they will admit her and find another rehab facility. I am glad he informed me of that option as this is my first experience with a rehab facility.
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Isthisrealyreal Jan 2022
Well done!
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Taj: discuss with the director the need to put a camera in Mom's room if you are feeling she is unsafe. Let me also ask you if your Mom has any history of making up things that don't ring right? Is there any dementia? Does she take sleep medications at night or any other medication that could cause her to report this wrongly? Do ask also if the charts show medication was given at the hour you received this. Hope you will update us.
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So many people have their careers ruined with untrue accusations. I would be certain that mom is not stretching the truth or exaggerating. Does mom have dementia? Did this really happen at all?

Based on this previous post
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-much-is-enough-471900.htm?orderby=oldest

I would bet this is mom's newest manipulation to try to get discharged home.
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The DON called me back. She had not heard anything about what happened with my mom until I called today. She is going to talk to my mom to get the details from her. After reading some of the feedback, I can't think of any reason why a healthcare worker would need to grab a patients wrist. My mom has never been diagnosed with dementia and she has told me that most of the staff there are very nice. So I can't imagine why she would decide to make up a story now. She has been hospitalized off and on since October and while she had several complaints, none of them were as bad as this and believe me, she has wanted to go home from each of these admissions. Never did she accuse anyone of grabbing her. It is very hard to believe she would make this up. I've been in healthcare for 15 years, I've seen firsthand that some healthcare workers do NOT need to be in the profession.
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AlvaDeer Jan 2022
Thank you for clarifying that your Mom doesn't suffer from dementia, and that she has never made any accusations that rise to this level. I can also not imagine why anyone would grab her wrist. (We asked this because we did not know; it wasn't an accusation, but a plea for more information).
Again, I would ask about a security camera placement. Just it being there, whether used or not is a warning to any and all. Glad you are following up. Clearly the nurse who is being accused would/should not be the one to file any complaint with. I am glad this is in the hands of the DON now. I hope you will get some results. If there are any other complaints against this person it rises to a new level and that's why it is so important to see that a report is filed.
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Please remember that this may not be true, or may be exaggerated. Perhaps check before going to the police.
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My mom did this pretty regularly . It ws always the night people. She felt they treated her very roughly .

My mom also felt they withheld her pain meds just to be mean to her.
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Tajann, people making excuses is why seniors are abused in NHs.

Nobody is going to have their career ruined if the situation didn't happen.

I, personally, saw that the night staff screwed off and were put out with having to do their job. I went in to see the DON and tell her what was going on after she went home. I never saw those caregivers again, so I think that the situation was known and it was the last straw or they were moved where patients weren't as needy.

I honestly don't care what happened to them, you treat human beings like animals and you can jog on and sell Micky Ds for all I care.

It is so important to make this behavior known, if it can't be proved, no one gets injured. But many suffer at the hands of an abusive nurse and they are out there.
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Please call the director of nursing at the rehab facility. Ask her to be sure that nurse involved is not assigned to your mother's care for the next week or so. Give the facility a chance to see what happened (by interviewing night staff, by interviewing the alleged offender, by seeing what physical signs of injury may appear (bruises can take 1-2 days to appear), etc. And call the nursing home ombudsman who is responsible for the SNF.
If you don't already know the name and phone number of the ombudsman, call the facility and ask the receptionist to give it to you.
In my experience, elders who awaken in a strange place in the dark, when their glasses and hearing aides are not in place, and the nurse is trying to administer a pill without awakening the other roommate, confusion can result.
It may be that your mother was startled, reached out to hit the nurse thinking she was being assaulted by an intruder, and the nurse had to grab her wrist to prevent your mother from injuring the nurse.
Please do not call the police right away. As you get more information from facility and ombudsman, you might feel that you do want to call the police and file a report.
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Here is one possible reason why your mother would say that a nurse ‘grabbed her wrist’ and 'threw the medicine cup at her'. Nurse is giving M some liquid medication in a little cup, M tries to knock it away, Nurse takes her wrist to stop it spilling, then drops the cup. Surely you can imagine this? It seems a lot more likely than deliberate 'abuse' by a staff member.

It’s worth thinking this through carefully. If Mother has not got it straight (perhaps because she was half asleep rather than dementia), you may damage the career of an unfortunate staff member, waste a lot of people’s time investigating nothing, and make your mother very unpopular with all the staff members.

The last time I was in hospital following an operation, I was woken regularly during the night for obs and drugs. It felt dreadful to be dragged up from the depths of drugged sleep, although my guess is that the night nurses were simply doing what they had to do.
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Cover99 Jan 2022
So you think all seniors are "making this up" if they tell a story similar?
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