I've been accused of stealing money from my 82 year old father. My wife and i are powers of attorney for him. We pay his bills using our own money and then use his to pay us back. So his bank statements always show purchases in our area, and not his. We have a caregiver company that comes in every other day to help him. Now because we missed one payment to this company ,they have placed a guardian over him and temp blocked our power of attorney rights.We are not thieves and did not, or intend to steal from him
When dealing with your father, save every receipt, bank statement, deposit slip, etc. If using a check to make payments, note what the check is being used for on the check itself then save a copy of the cancelled check. If using a credit card, save your statements showing who received payment. When sending emails to providers, .cc yourself or save the sent copy for future reference.
You may need to call Adult Protective Services and ask for welfare checks on your father. You may even need to become his conservator. If so, see an attorney that specializes in this area. It can be expensive, but may be necessary.
Ignore people who judge you and do what is best and most loving for your father. Beyond that guard your sanity by eating right, exercising regularly, getting your rest, and seek out the positive.
The adult child here who takes care of their father explains how "We pay his bills using our own money and then use his to pay us back." This practice is a prescription for confusion. At a minimum, you should have a separate checking account that takes in your father's income and disburses payment for his expenses. This is the simplest way to keep a clear record of how his money is being spent. Mingling his money with yours, and then paying his expenses from your own account makes it difficult or impossible to see his transactions clearly. The system you are using may require you to disclose information about your own finances to prove that you have done nothing improper.
The problem is compounded as "his bank statements always show purchases in our area, and not his."
If your father's finances involve more than one or two bank accounts you need to make a list of all his accounts, along with his Social Security Retirement Income, dividends, and other income. List the principal balance for each account, and the monthly income it produces. You can call this list: Schedule A.
When you look at Schedule A, you (and anyone else you show the list to) can see how much income your father has each month.
Made another list showing his expenses. Call this chart: Schedule B.
Show the Name of Expense and the expense Amount.
Make a new Schedule A and Schedule B every month, so you can see how your father’s needs are met. If you subtract the expenses paid in Schedule B from the total principal balance of Schedule A, everyone can always see the financial resources that remain available for care.
The Probate Courts in the state where I live (Massachusetts) use a similar format to account for funds of people who cannot manage their own money. You said that a caregiver company "placed a guardian over him" because you missed one payment. You didn't explain how that happened or whether your father received due process. Hopefully your family's finances won't become part of public probate proceedings.
Using an organized system to keep your father's funds separate from yours can provide a better way.