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He is in the memory unit of a local nursing home and is probably the highest functioning resident of the 25 there. He is, frustrated over the lack of conversation / interaction and tries to spend as much time in his room as possible. The staff all love him, but, of course, they cannot be with him all the time. He is not interested in the relatively simple activities that are offered (large piece puzzles, coloring large shape pictures, etc.) I have often asked him what he would like to do, but he only says "I don't know." He does go on the outings that the home offers, but usually complains about how long it takes to get everyone on and off the bus! The home does charity work once a month (making PB & J sandwiches for the Salvation Army) and he likes doing that. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Also, he is now a fall risk, so he is moved around in a wheelchair and can only stand for limited periods. He has NO computer skills (and no interest in acquiring any).

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You responded to a post from Justashes about Hachette ptofucts. They make some thingy or another. In your respond you said " I'll google it" then you said you & hubby say google it so often your mom now says it. BTW I got some french site too LOL, then I typed Hachrtte arts & crafts
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What am I googling? What I get is French and I don't understand.

Help! M 8 8
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I think we put together about 20 photo albums about 3 yrs ago.

I got stickers and embellishments at Michaels, and she had fun............while that lasted.

Forgot about Hachetts..............

M88
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Mulata88, I "googled" Hachette. It looks like there a few products I may try. PhoenixDaughter suggedted putting pictures in albums. So right after breakfast...Mom's got a job! Do I sound happy ☺? My best to you.
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JustAshes,
Never had a radio, huh??? Interesting, wow. What is Hachette? I will google it. Haha, made myself laugh because now I have mom saying "just google it". She has no idea of what she is saying but hears hubby and I saying it to each other.
She likes to read, it seems, but she says she does not remember anything at all of what she just read. Zip. So, she reads her Bible, the Psalms interest her, and sometimes comments on that.
Mom, in her younger days was sharp, intelligent, witty, loving and creative.
She was a fashion designer and around the 1940´s, she used to draw for a magazine that would buy her designs. They would make the dress - suit - whatever, and have the mannequin wear it at the front of the store.
I never saw that, but she tells you the story..........many times.
Now...
Even a hem is way to difficult and she does NOT want to do it. Period.
She used to tell me, like when I was a teen: come here, watch me sew. Learn. Oh no!, b-o-r-i-n-g!!! Now, I am SORRY to the max for not learning.
I did stand next to her helping her cook. And I can cook what she likes, the way she used to make it. It comforts her. But... she DOES NOT cook.
Okay..........
I will try Hachette... googling... googling... gone.

M88
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Does he still like to read ? Readers digest is still a go- to favorite for my mom - while there are xtra-large piece jigsaw puzzles for Alz, I have found those in the 150-200 piece range are another great activity.
Any musical talent, or a favorite CD he would enjoy ?
Sorting socks and folding towels helps keep hands busy too
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Mulata88 - Hachette just started a new quilting series - I am also interested - have never tried the quilting thingy and are definitively going to subscribe (have already subscribed to their crocheting series that have also just started - in my valley we are at book no 7 this week). Would she not be interested in this? You only receive one book per week with enough material / wool to make one square / crochet one block, per week. That way she might not feel overwhelmed with a huge project all at once, not knowing where to start and how to finish. My mom also used to crochet, knit and do some sewing but has forgot how. She has always been very content - can sit and not worry as long as she is not alone - she will sit all day not even talking if you are busy and that will not worry her. If my dad is not around (which is a VERY rare occasion), we will had her an old magazine or even a children's bedtime story book, she will read or just page through it for hours. I find that she reads the children's story books - all the those old Grinn Brothers stories - I have a lot of children's books for my little grandchildren.
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Happycity,

I got some great books for my mom at the dollar store.

Connect the words together with a pen.

She gets less bored with those.

I am also scrambling for ideas for her to stay busy and feel useful.

However, many of my suggestions get a "I don't feel like it" response, so.............

Mom was so good at sewing, crochet, knitting, cooking...........same response.

Help?

M88
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I'm looking for ideas also! But here are a few task I give my mom. I put all mail with our names/ personal information in a bag (Somtimes other stuff too) and my mom shreds it...1 at a time. I let her put her pills in one of those Monday through Friday pill box. I have her fill salt, pepper and sugar container. She tries to fold laundry with me. My mom's vision is poor but I buy cheap used magazine from thrift store. I always say Mom I need your help, do you mind shredding? I would really appreciate it. I absolutely need a few more chores /task. God bless us all.
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TheElderSon: Based on some of the things you wrote (especially making the PB&J sandwiches), may the facility could find something for him to do in the dining area. When my mom was in the NF, there was a lady that helped with putting napkins on the tables, and helping the dietitian serve the cold drinks during the meals. She was in a wheel chair as well. Hopefully someone can find something he likes to do and will help him. God bless.
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Hi, not sure if this will be of any help - my DIL grandfather were in a wheelchair after both his legs had been amputated due to bad blood circulations - he was ±85. Her mother took care of him at their house. She enrolled him at some of those Part work thingy's (Hachette). She has ordered a steam train that he has build - he has received a book with some parts every week. After that she has enrolled him to the next new series which was a whole railway with tracks, trains, the buildings, etc. He passed away a few months ago and one of the son in law's took over the project. Some of the projects are not too difficult. Maybe he would be interested in doing something like that? They currently have some boats that can be build, etc.
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Continued thanks to all who have provided answers. My dad is probably just shy of being able to be in AL. He has no bowel or bladder control right now and is a fall risk. He also cannot handle his own meds. He has been evaluated and we believe he is in the right place. He was never into hobbies and was a truck driver, so his job skills are not really useful in this situation. In all truth, he would probably be doing the same thing if he was at home, we could never convince him to try any new activity. (Even though I am 60, I am still his kid and "By Golly" kids can't tell their parents what to do! - His attitude)
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When my husband settled in to the assisted living center, he helped the staff fold the cloth napkins and he helped to set the table with them. After a while, however, we began to find knives "stored" in his room and had to end this helpful activity. My husband did not like organized games, but he did like paint by number or coloring. Now there are adult coloring books your dad might enjoy.
Sometimes complaining is ok. The person is showing us they still have critical thinking skills. Agree wit him first and then distract him. My husband played catch with us or even making a ball from a straw paper and flicking it across the table worked for a while.
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Get more complex puzzles? My mom had this too and then as new people moved in, some were higher functioning. Is he allowed to have a dog?
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You say your Dad is high functioning and should be able to do many things. I would suggest that you talk to him and see if he's interested in organizing something for the nursing home. Maybe you could ask if they have a person to organize events for the patients to take part in such as a Friday night music bash. Maybe they would allow him to select the music and have many of the residents sit around the tables and listen to music. Different music on different nights. Maybe opera one night, top 40 from the 40's and 50's on another night and so on. There could also include some dancing if any could handle that, if not just sit and listen. He could be the coordinator for a game night as well. Have a bingo night and he could call out the numbers and award a small amount of money to the winner. He could also have a crafts night trying to make small stuff with knitting or hand sewing, or gluing kits of bird houses, or plane kits for kids for Christmas who live in an orphan home. He could also create a card game night for canasta, poker or playing bridge. He could also have a thriller type game where the killer is a mystery until the game is solved. There are many things to do if he just uses his imagination. Good luck and I hope he finds something interesting to do.
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My nephew recently mentioned that his dad with Parkinson's liked snap-together building blocks. If he still has small-muscle coordination, Lego's might be worth a try. There are blocks of many sizes and complexities available. Does he remember how to play Solitaire with actual cards? Even sorting a shuffled deck of cards might be enough. Or a sorting out a bunch of mixed decks. Folding napkins? Books with big colored pictures of landscapes, animals, whatever might be interesting?. Maybe more complex puzzles of some kind.
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Have staff give him something to do. Folding napkins for lunch, dinner, etc. He will not be able to enunciate the thoughts which get depleted with dementia, so you will have to make lots of suggestions. I find if I make a list, just let him point to it. I do this with my husband about breakfast. He doesn't know what he wants to eat, but if he sees it on a menu, then he gets hungry for whatever he saw, and then he can point to a number. Saves a lot of guessing games!
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Is he in an actual skilled nursing facility or an assisted living community? If he is in a SNF, can you consider placing him in an AL? I agree with others who've said that he sounds like he could do better there. I work in senior living and I can assure you that most AL residents have some degree of dementia. People have to be really judgement-impaired to warrant living in a locked dementia unit. If that's not your dad, he doesn't belong there and would enjoy the more active lifestyle of AL. Talk to the director and, if they don't offer a less restrictive unit, consider a move (if you're not confined by Medicaid requirements which in some states don't pay for AL).
AL is much less expensive and a much brighter lifestyle.

ps – I, too, have found that there are residents who really enjoy helping out with stuffing, labelling or other admin chores. See if there's a 'job' like that for your dad.
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As has been mentioned, the higher functioning people often behave this way. That's how my mother was. She did crossword puzzles in her room and watched public TV. She has slight memory issues but was in the nursing home for other reasons than dementia (repeated falls, etc.).

Many people do love to be on committees. Some facilities have (and all should have) committees for input from residents and families. Your dad would be a great leader for the residents. Also, as mentioned, as newsletter is good. My guess is that they will help him start one. Good luck!
Carol
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Will your Dad remember that he did the same job the day before? Reason I ask is that maybe you can prepare a bankers box with some activities that the staff can utilize as they probably will not have flyers etc everyday. Continue to think about the sorting aspect...or the matching aspect....cards with envelopes that have been separated and need to be matched....write the alphabet on large index cards and tell him they need to be in order for the library( unless he cannot do that)....Another thing to consider is the length of time he can stay focused on a task. So don't make it too long.Have you tried making word searches on the computer? Use words that he recognizes from his past in the word bank. Places you vacationed, his town, place of birth, etc. I only make it about 15 words to start out. You can print it out and he can do those when he wants. Would he feel good by doing something for the community? Get about 8 boxes of new crayons( the 8 or 12 pack) and dump them in a box. Tell him they need to be sorted for the children at school. Match colors and put in baggie or rubber band. I can totally empathize. My Dad entered the world of Alz about 10 years ago and was very high functioning, according to the doctors. He is now 91 and can still do many things. He lives at home and we have caregivers. He is not very task oriented but likes to play solitaire on his IPAD( which he only learned how to do about 2 1/2 years ago!). He is still mobil so we are fortunate with that ...for now. I will be interested in all the responses as I know they will be very informative. Good luck and I hope you can share your results.
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Does the facility have a "patient coordinator?" I'm not certain of the actual title/name, but the facility where my mother lived had one. It may have been an "in name only" type of position, but the lady seemed quite busy. She had a notebook of activities (??), she sometimes delivered mail, and I'm sure of what else. I never really talked to her except "hello, how are you today" - stuff like that. She read a lot and was in and out of the room. She was my mother's roommate. I didn't get to talk to her (my mother didn't seem to like her. My mother had worked as a college administrator & was quite the "snob." :-) My mother liked to talk to the aides & staff more than she liked the other residents.
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Jennegibbs: sorting papers is safe. Hopping in a stranger's car, calling 911 when keys are lost, etc. is why they are there. On a good day they can help out, on a bad day, they can endanger others or themselves.
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Thanks to all who have answered so far. Based on two of the answers above, I will be checking to see if my dad's facility can use him to put together brochures or newsletters.
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Does he really need to be in the memory unit? If he is in a wheelchair it doesn't sound like he is a wandering risk. I'll bet at least half the residents in the regular nursing home section have dementia and function there just fine.

Of course, someone has to be the highest functioning person in each unit, but I'd investigate whether he might do better among people more at his level.

My mother with dementia is in a wheelchair. She is in the regular NH. She participates in a couple of activities per day.
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Similar to laurabutler28, my Dad's facility invites residents to help prepare the newsletter for mailing. Dad can stick on address labels, fold mailings, and stuff envelopes and he enjoys doing something productive. Another activity you might bring for him is your coin jar and have him sort the coins so you can put them in rolls. (If anybody still does that any more!)
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My mom use to help the ALF staff assemble their marketing folders. They loved it and she loved the praise. She considered it her job, which made her feel useful.
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I have the same situation with my Dad who is in Independent/Assisted Living. One thing that sparked his interest was being on community meetings where he could voice his opinion on whatever said meeting is about. The last one had to do with the food service. The only thing is that these meetings are quarterly, if that.

My Dad doesn't do the bus thing, same reason, takes too long for everyone to get on and off.... it's not like he's The Flash himself. My Dad is in walker mode so walking is limited.

My Dad had computer skills, use to write code, but all that has faded away. He rarely uses his computer now. And for the first time in his life he has cable TV but what does he watch, the main channels that he use to watch before having cable. Good heavens, Turner Classic Movies would be great to watch, or anything to do with storms/tornadoes as he's so interested in weather, but he won't move off those old ingrained channels..... [sigh].

Wish I could give you ideas, but I am scratching my head on what he could do.
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