My grandfather first had Alzeimer's and my grandma took care of him in the background. I would get something for her, or sit with him while she was out. Now I am taking care of her, who has Dementia and I am definitely nearing if not at the end of my rope. She will yell at me, accuse me of things I didn't even do. I have been dealing with depression for the last 4 or 5 years as well as seizures for the last 7 both of which I think she has contributed to by her treatment. I have no help since my parents both work but I really feel as though I just can't do it anymore (In case anyone is wondering I am 25 but because of the seizures I can't drive, but I live next door so I can walk home when I need to) anyone else understand this or have suggestions/support?
There is a lot on your young shoulders. Its good of you to help and support your grandparents but its a lot to take on. Given your own health issues, it might be best to ask your parents about exploring other options. I know you are doing the best you can but it sounds like everyone is taking you for granted and assumes you are OK with caring for your grandparents. But it sounds like their needs are escalating and it might be better for them if they had home care, or considered assisted living or a nursing home.
Please don't be afraid to speak up and get help. If necessary contact a social worker and see what options are available. All this stress is not good for your own health and future. The fact that you are asking these types of questions indicate caregiver burnout.
As cdnreader mentioned above, don't be afraid to speak up. It is time that your parents brought in more help. Or time that your grandparents need to be in assisted living/memory care. I know that may not be an option your grandparents want nor your parents??? Discuss this softly, and give it time to sink in for your parents. This isn't something that can be corrected overnight.
As for your Grandmother yelling and accusing you, it could one of two things.... either a phase of dementia that she is going through.... or she has an Urinary Tract Infection which will mimic dementia big time.
Arm yourself with as much knowledge about Alzheimer/Dementia as you can. Scroll down to the bottom of the page to the blue section. Over on your far left you will see ALZHEIMER'S CARE... click on that and read all the articles you can.
Hopefully this will help you for dealing with your grandparents until something else is done to help them. And give your parents ideas they didn't think know exist. Also read up on Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Medicaid is also in the blue section, click on Medicare.
Keep us up-to-date what happens. We all learn from each other here :)
All the above answers are great. For 5 years my Mom would hide her watch and wedding ring and we spent hours of our lives looking for them. She didn't believe she did anything with them. This was when we started thinking dementia. She yelled No Christmas at me until I find that ring! It's funny now but I know it's not when you are living through it. You are a little young to have to carry all this load. Please look into the suggestions above sweetie.
I may repost this in a new one because I'm now realizing how much I left out of my origional post. To me (honestly until recently) I really felt like this was just a daily thing like waking up and going to work. I really never considered these details (despite the fact that it was obvious I was being affected I think I was (at 18) still too young to realize as I still had my mentality that I'm supposed to take care of my granddaddy (or help my grandma do it) while my mother was at work. I'm really seeing it now and truthfully it's almost like just realizing what I was (anD kind of still I guess) doing to myself being so faithful to my mother and granddaddy