My dad keeps arguing with the staff at the nursing home about my mother's care. It's always something physical therapy or getting her on the toilet. The physical therapist told him if you didn't like it maybe he should look into going somewhere else. I know the director of nursing is fed up with him for constantly insisting she be on the toilet. She can't stand she can't communicate she's a handful to try to get on the toilet or into bed or to do anything. Can the nursing home tell us to take her somewhere else?
The compassionate and competent staff members are on the same side as their patients and their families. The people that are most likely to snap and be rude are ones that should not be working with infirm and dependent people. The fact is that these places do not have enough people to do the work, and the workers who bear the brunt of the work -- the CNAs -- are often working a second job because this work pays so little. It is truly heartbreaking that both the patients and aides are treated so poorly.
Is your dad being abusive to the staff or is he just distressed because he feels your mom's needs are not being met? As you know, it is really a loss to see a loved one in that setting and it takes awhile for everyone to adjust. If this is out of character for your dad, he might be burnt out and the stress of seeing your mom in that setting might be too much. If he is there everyday, it might help to encourage him to take a day off and let him see your mom will be all right if someone else takes a turn visiting.