I have twin girls who are 7. One is autistic and just said soemthing to my mama and mama said something nasty to her and made her cry. It's ugly. I can onlly see this getitng worst because my girls are twins and oen is autistic and one is not and mama will be confused over them being 2 and not understanding how there are 2 girls who look a like. my girl lwho is autistic was real upset but her sister God Bless Her was abel to comfort her and I am greatfull for her ableity to do that. I do not know if others have autistic children at home and Alzhiemers parents at home but if you do please tel me how you also help your children.
thankfully she has her sister who can comfort her.
How old are your daughters?
Gramma's mean words are very hurtful and a dementia patient is ..... demented. very important that you keep that forefront in your mind. It's easy to forget because she is your mama.
I am going to ask a question and you can tell me to buzz off.....
have you looked into placing your mom?
It is not the worst thing that you can do and we as a nation have grown up with the notion that if you do that you are a terrible person. That is simply not true.
for some dementia patients their bodies outlast their brains for so long and it can have incredible consequences on the health of a family.
Just a thought.
I don't know of any folks here who have Autism and Dementia under one roof, but if you are patient, and if there is one, they will show up.
If not, stay tuned anyway because the folks on this site are truly angels and you will get the feedback and the support you will need to make it through this. And you will make it!
Write back and let us know how you are dealing and together we can come up with a plan!
lovbob
Its been hard but she been ok lately. Not mean. She keeps looking at them if they aren't the room togehther and oen comes in and the other comes in and I now she gets confused. But she been real quietlike lately. When she sees them together she squints and stares like she dosen't get it.
We got no cash for a home for her. Id do it for my girls.
Helen
You can pull up the South Carolina state agency website as Department of Disabilities and Special Needs. This will help with Autism services if you aren't already getting. http://www.ddsn.sc.gov/consumers/Pages/ApplyingforServices.aspx takes you to page with 800# and how to apply for services. They should be able to help you coordinate services for your daughter and self if you are not getting; and steer you in direction of agencies for aged. Your father post stroke may qualify for their services also.
Here's their mission statement:
Welcome to the South Carolina Department of Disabilities and Special Needs (SCDDSN) Website. We are currently working to enhance our website by making it easier for you to navigate.
SCDDSN is the state agency that plans, develops, oversees and funds services for South Carolinians with severe, lifelong disabilities of mental retardation, autism, traumatic brain injury and spinal cord injury and conditions related to each of these four disabilities. Our mission is to assist people with disabilities and their families in meeting needs, pursuing possibilities and achieving life goals, and to minimize the occurrence and reduce the severity of disabilities through prevention.
This is link for South Carolina Access portal which will connect you to services for both aging and disabled
https://scaccess.communityos.org/cms/
Helping each other stay strong.
Helen
I have a dear friend who has been dealing with a grandson with autism. They are connected in the state of Washington. The family is amazing and a great support to each other. So sad when that isn't the case.
Thanks so much for being that unique person who can reach out to those who have such a specialized need.
We don't always do well by our most needy citizens, but there really and truly are many programs in place to help. Alzhiemer's and other forms of dementia can require some very specialized handling and care. Sometimes that can work in a family setting, but when it cannot, there are alternatives. It is not a choice between bankrupting the sons and daughters so they can't support their own families or turning the elderly out on the street.
So many post here and say "I cannot afford long term care for my parent." But you do not have to afford it. If the parent has funds, they need to use the funds for their care. If they don't have enough (as most people who've worked for a living don't, if they live a long life), there is Medicaid or other programs that can take over.
I don't know about other countries, but every US state has resources for its citizens in need. Guestshopadmin has very kindly demonstrated that information is available on state websites.
I am grateful to see Gueststop's comments because it gives other possibilities. I'm not saying that my comments represent Leslile. Not at all. I just have such a sadness for the human condition. So many folks that are up against the wall and don't know what to do. They do the best they can.