My mom has had Alzheimer's for about 8 years. She's 81 and has been in a nursing home- a memory care facility- for a year and a half. Recently, Alz drugs were discontinued and then she developed a bad cold which lead to pneumonia. Beginning about 2 weeks ago, she began refusing care most of the time. She also pushes her food away, isn't drinking much, and she's refusing her meds, some of which she gets to reduce agitation. This is not all the time, but at least part or most of every day. Could she be trying to check out, or would she be able to make that decision? My MIL who had Parkinson's did make the decision to die, but she had her wits about her. Mom can't communicate much anymore. She gets some words out, and seems to understand words. She's even still able to read some words (former English teacher!). She rallied for a visit with my adult sons 4 days ago. But yesterday was awful. She wouldn't even open her eyes when I was there, which is very strange. They can't get her to cooperate for a urine test. I don't know if she's trying to tell us something through her actions. Do any of you have experience with this with an Alzheimer's loved one?
I am sorry for the long journey your mother has endured. It is legal and ethical for adults to refuse medical treatment and interventions. Had she completed an advance directive at some earlier time And in the end stages of Alzheimer's, people really do not care for food or drink. It is just biology. My colleague, Joanne Lynn, and I, have written about this topic for our book, "Handbook for Mortals," and have a whole chapter on this very thing. You can read it for free, online, if you google the title. I hope you find some comfort there.