I have tried waiting several minutes and asking her again. This attempt can go on for an hour. Last week she tried to kick me. I have been with her since January and it has gotten worse as time passes. I remain patient, leaving her alone, letting her stay in bed awhile longer, and then returning to try again. It can take more than an hour or more. Any suggestions.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-and-sleep-156720.htm
If your patient drinks coffee might be worth a try. I love the smell myself.
When he could no longer go to the program we had in-home help. I scheduled the PCA to start at 9:00 am. That way she could get him up, supervise his shaving, dressing, etc. and give him breakfast. (It also allowed her to get her kids ready for school before she left for work.) Starting any earlier would have just annoyed my husband. Who wants a cranky patient (or husband?)
What time do you attempt to wake your patient up? Why is it that time chosen? Would she get up more readily and with less animosity if that time were moved an hour?
Light has a big influence on our sleep cycles. I sincerely wish I had a maid to come in and open my curtains about a half an hour before get-up time, and a half and hour later come in with a steaming cup of tea. And having the smell of cinnamon rolls or bacon wafting in from the kitchen would help, too. Really. I have a problem called sleep inertia and I have discussed it with a sleep specialist. But all I really need is a morning maid. Maybe you could be your patient's morning maid.
You say she has gotten worse since January. That is the nature of dementia ... it gets worse. She may stay at the level she is at now for a while, or may continue to decline.
Have you taken care of a patient with dementia before? It really does present some special challenges.
I ask, too - what time are you getting her up? Also how many hours sleep does she get a night? Personally, I am a huge "not a morning person". HUGE. I have awful insomnia- suffered from it all my life, even as a child. Typically, I don't fall into a solid sleep until 3am - sometimes not even then. But regardless, I've found a huge difference between getting up at 8am and even 7:30am. It doesn't matter how well I slept the night before - at 8am, even though it's only 30 minutes I feel much better.
I think it was Jeanne who touched on light. From years of research on insomnia cures - there is much debate on light. Pitch dark vs natural light. The philosophy that works best for me is natural light. I have no blinds or curtains on my bedroom windows - good thing my house is up on a steep hill as no one can see in - anyhoo, the theory is that your body clock will set its self to the light. Kind of an "up with the sun" thing as the caveman did prior to alarm clocks. Although if you live in a bleaker climate this can be problematic if it doesn't get light out at a reasonable time - winter for instance. Sooo - perhaps try going into the room and opening the shades/curtains twenty minutes prior to your first attempt to get her up - remember the O.J. on that first attempt!
What is her preference for when she gets up?
You didn't say how old your patient is - but if it is age related as opposed to dementia, then you're fighting nature. I've been advised that it is not uncommon for a 95 year old to sleep upwards to 20 hours daily. He has started watching TV in the afternoons, and I am thankful.
Is your patient willing to get up later in the day and eat breakfast? I know for us, time no longer matters. He wakes up and I offer to feed him. Breakfast, lunch and dinner don't have to be at a special time for us.
From the beginning, I have found she likes to look outside so I bought a 6 foot by 30 inch folding table to place in front of the kitchen window for her to look out into the backyard, the bird feeder is about 5 feet away from the window. We live in the city but this part of town has lots of room for wildlife. She looks outside while I use the computer (a little entertainment for me) on the other side of the table. I read emails or work on our genealogy online and sometimes I look up video on youtube for her to watch on my pc screen that is large enough for her to see sitting beside me. You can find any song from almost any era on youtube! We look at stored photos on my pc of years past.
If I don't stay at the table with her, she gets up and goes back to bed. I believe you need to give her a good reason for her to get out of bed, something to get her excited about. Something good to eat, or visual activity to entertain her.
You sound like you are doing everything right, giving her time, then trying again. You could try enticements or "fibs," such as a nice breakfast or an outing. You mention an hour may lapse, that's a long time for you & her. Any aggressive behavior, verbal or physical, is not healthy for either of you. She may be picking up on any of your frustration or stress in your behavior; voice tone, body signs. It seems that senses are heightened with this disease. You also have to remember as her primary caregiver, you're it as far as her behavior issues. As the disease progresses, there's no rhyme or reason on behavior. It could be caused by any number of things, even medical, it may be time for a check up. Or if someone was always miserable that may not change, just get worse. You may have to make a decision on this case & know that it's ok. You haven't failed at your job, it's not your fault.
I'm my brother's primary caregiver, he was tough prior to this d*** ALZ, so, need I say more. As the doctor said from day 1, that was his self, it would probably stay the same & possibly worsen. This ALZ has been a roller coaster ride for us both. As the disease has progressed I do see a compliancy, he may take direction easier or allow things to be done for him, sometimes.
I have to say the "right person" makes a difference and it's usually evident from day 1 if the fit is right. I find hearing & watching an aide struggle with any behavior issues more stressful than helpful. I don't want anyone disrespected or hurt. I realize I don't have an abundance of good help for him & me these days & I am always looking. I've educated myself on this d*** disease & most of the times I'm it, 24/7. I hear no a lot & proceed with caution at times. I love & care, but I'm me, I'm an old memory, this he knows.
Caregiving is not for everyone, there are mental & physical responsibilities, challenges of doom & gloom. I question if it's a "forever job" for anyone? Blessings 🌸