I moved my 87 year old mom in with my wife and myself this week. My mom is having issues forgetting where she is and what is going on with her health. She is bed ridden and have to wear a diaper. My wife has been a hero in how she has handle my mom. But for myself I feel so useless. I am fortunate enough to be retired while my wife works. I am having a hard time dealing with the task of cleaning my mom. I know my mom feels so embarrassed as much as I do. Even at times she gets angry at me which makes me feel like dirt. Today was the hardest day of all when I walk in my mom's room she had taken her diaper off and had her hands and clothing covered with Festus. I just went into shock. I was lucky enough that my sister in law came by and help me clean her up. I wondering if I am doing right by my mom in trying to take care of her. She was in a nursing home for a week but hated it. I am not even sure why I am writing this post but needed to let it out. Any advise?..How can I handle thus without losing my mind..........
What you're doing is noble, but it comes with a cost - and that cost is to your wife primarily. If your mom has dementia, her reasoning ability is gone, so she may not be happy where ever she is. You have to consider your wife first and your mom second, again in my humble opinion.