After the tragic death of my precious son in law, I brought my very ill and crippled daughter into my home for 3 weeks. I wanted to comfort and help her temporarily. She was at first very sweet and loving though of course sad and grieving. She surprised me by how helpless and dependent and confused she was. I helped her arrange automatic deposit for her tiny 445o a month temporary income. My son in law's life insurance paid for his very nice funeral. My daughters income to my dismay totaled only $2,000 social security + the $450 for 13 months and then only $2,000. She has a mortgage payment of $910 a month. I arranged for automatic deduction of mortgage and utilities, etc. from her checking account. I, in the meantime paid her mortgage, utilities, and groceries for 3 months. My income is only $3100 a month so I could not continue that. She began to gradually become more and more helpless and yet demanding and even very abusive. My son called uber and had her removed from my home and transported back to her own home. All her deposits and payments are automatic now. I will not allow her back into my home. However, I am concerned she cannot cope on her own. She is very bitter and angry with me.
It wasn't drugs or drink. He didn't know what was the cause - a health condition or cognitive issue.
He felt (after the first stay was unsuccessful like yours) that wasn't the answer. He provided phone numbers to call. Lifeline, social welfare agencies like The Salvation Army & a local church welfare service. He hoped she would call one & get a case manager. One who could start working out how to find the right place for her in the world. Somewhere with support services checking in - somewhere she could be as independant as was possible for her.
Maybe this daughter needs a financial trustee? But maybe more.
At 65 it's young but not unheard of to need AL. The daughter may be relieved not to deal with arranging meals & paying bills. Would get help for care too (ill & crippled was mentioned).
The daughter has to see she needs help & to want to make those calls though.
Can you or your son get in touch with a social worker or district nurse who might be able to suggest something? Your son got her out from under your feet, it's time for him to step up to the plate now and get help for his sister so she won't end up living with you again.
As you've already found, she may 'want' to live with you/ be looked after by you - but will 'need' a different solution.
You are doing a great job working with the social worker to find this. Best of luck.