I am the primary caregiver for my parents (92 and 90). My father has Parkinson's and is being released from the hospital after a bout of severe constipation and a possible volvulus (twisting/flopping of colon) for which a rectal tube was inserted. He has not been out of bed from 6 days. We have had a hospital bed delivered to the home and he has a walker. I have a commode ready for the bedside and he also has pull-up incontinence "underwear." I've been told by the hospital social worker that he should quality for an aide 5 days a week for about 3 hours a day. My mother who is in better shape than my father would be with him all day, but is not really equipped to help him a lot. I also work full time and have requested a week off to get them settled in. In short, I'm terrified. How do I help them? My mom is unable to be a true caregiver and tetters from depressed to agitated to nearly non-functional cognitively. I live with them, have no spouse, children or siblings. I did not as for him to be released to a nursing home/rehab as no visitors are allowed and it would disorient and disturb him greatly.
Thank you for any suggestions! I'm overwhelmed.
Tina
If the hospital SW thinks that your father "should qualify for an aide 5 days a week for about 3 hours a day," is that a definite? And how would just 3 hours/day be enough when you work? What are your parents' finances? Can they afford additional help? YOU shouldn't be paying for their needs, btw, unless you are using their funds.
You have been with them for 18 months now, and have a house in another state. You do realize that by agreeing to have your father come home now, that you will be extending your stay with your parents indefinitely?
And you also must realize that they need fulltime help at this point. What are their plans for that, or haven't they made any at all? Do you foresee yourself giving up your job to be their 24/7/365 caretaker? Because that is where I see this is headed, unless you make some major changes.
Do you have their HCPOA? Durable POA?
You can always call 911 and get him back to the hospital. He may end up in a nursing home, or you will have to quit your job to care for him 24/7.
Rehab would allow him to build up his strength and give you a bit more of a reprieve. It would also be a trial run for when you are unable to provide care.
It sounds like Mum is going to be incapacitated by the thought, let alone the actions of providing any form of care. If you are at work 8 hours a day and care is there for 3, who is going to prepare Dad's meals, feed him s needed, change him etc while you are away?
Call a healthcare aide company and line someone up. Nice that you'll be able to be home for the first week to try to help with the adjustment period.
If it ends up to be way too much to handle at home, you might need to go the nursing home route, even if it will not be your dad's favorite option. Your sanity counts too so you need to make sure he can be safely taken care of and that you and your mom are not put under too much pressure.
Good luck!