Yesterday he got impatient and couldn't wait for me to put away his Mom's Meals and started arguing with me as I was eating lunch. He's telling the Hospice workers that I'm causing problems and I lie about things when its really him lashing out at me and yelling profanities at me.
Whos house is it? Because in my world, that is who gets to stay and the other person has to leave if they can't behave with civility.
Yes, it is easy. He starts yelling and screaming and threatening and you walk away. If this means turning the stove off and having a less than perfect meal, if you have to leave the vacuum or mop or whatever, then you walk away.
You can choose not to participate in his actions and then you will not be arguing with him or he you, however you want to look at it. It takes 2 to argue, don't participate.
If this is to much for you, and it is completely okay if it is, then you need to tell his social worker that you can not keep doing it.
He is on hospice, that means that he is terminal and I promise you that he is scared and probably overwhelmed with the fact that he is dying and he hasn't even buried his own mom yet. Try to understand and be compassionate or tell someone that you can not do this. You don't want to live with regrets and this type of hostile environment is ripe for creating them. Maybe you would be better off just being his child and not his caregiver.
Young children will often wait until their parents are on the phone or otherwise occupied, then misbehave. Your Dad is doing the same thing. You need to set boundaries. If Dad starts up, you stop what you are doing and tell him you will not be spoken to that way, then leave his presence.
You are not the only one available to help Dad. You maybe the only one left in your family, but that does not mean you put your life on hold. He can go into care.
"Mom's Meals
https://www.momsmeals.com
Fully prepared, refrigerated meals delivered to homes nationwide."